Friday confessions

1. I ate chips for breakfast today

2. I bought a beautiful hydrangea last week. It's already dead

3. I took a 2 hour lunch break.

4. A friend came over and asked if I had just finished running. I had in fact already showered.

 

Fess up peeps!

 

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Needing to Rebuild

It is time to rebuild.
My running has been, terrible. I don't remember the last time I had a great run---at this point, I would even take a good run.

I seriously don't even remember the last time that I came home from a run and thought--those miles felt good, they flew by. My weekly mileage has been decent--not great. I am averaging between 20-25 miles a week.
I was really frustrated with myself this weekend on my runs, so I made a decision that I would start from scratch. Running is so mental, and I often think that it it more mental for me than many others.

Growing up playing soccer, I always had to run. Every single time I messed up, or a teammate messed up, our punishment was running. In college, I played at a Division 1 school, and it was the same story just at a higher level. Every time someone was a minute late to practice or a team event, it was a 50 yard sprint for each minute. Don't make me go back to the time when a freshman was 30 minutes late to team dinner because she went to her dorm to shower. The next day after practice we got to run  30 50 yards sprints.

Sometimes, the fact that I have run multiple marathons amazes me. Again, so much about running is mental, and right now, I am losing that mental battle.

Sure, I have had some physical setbacks that have hurt my running. Namely, the gigantic planters wart that has grown on the ball of my foot. I have had it cut out twice, because it keeps coming back. I had it removed in December, and its already back, and it is o so painful. (Please don't be intimated by my sexy talk of warts.) My visits to the podiatrist have gone something like this:

Me: Why do these keep coming back?

Dr: I don't know

Me: What can we do to keep them from coming back?

Dr: Cut it out

Me: How long will it take to heal?

Dr: About a week.

Me: Ok lets do it.

During the cutting process (Again, with all the sexiness) each doctor has felt obligated to talk inform me that if I had been more careful sexually, I might not have contracted this virus that causes warts.

Me: Um, doc, I have had these since I was a small child

Doc: O, well some people are just born with the virus that causes this.

After each procedure, it took nearly 3 weeks not 1 to heal, and almost always hurts.

And now, its back again, and flippin huge. And it hurts with every single step. I have used that pain as an excuse to stop running and walk for a bit.

This morning, I ran 3 miles. I told myself I could go as slow as I wanted, but I was not going to stop. I ran 3 miles in 28:00 minutes, and that was the very best I could do. A few months ago I was running the sames distance in about 24:00 minutes with no problem. I ran without music, which is something I never do, and I hated hearing myself breath and struggle, but I really needed to tune into my body.

Yes, I had a ton of excuses for running that slowly. My foot hurt, it was already 80 degrees, the humidity was really high, the wind was blowing really hard. But I kept going, even when my legs felt like lead. I kept running, kept struggling, and came home a sweaty mess.

This week is going to be all about the short distances for me. Its going to be about reconnecting with my body. Listening to my body, and defeating that little whisper of doubt telling me I can't do it, I can't go faster, I can't go farther.

Its time to put the doubt monster to bed.

Friday Confessions

Here are my weekly confessions:

1. I was tired so I drank a diet Coke. It made my tongue go numb and gave me a headach. I was still tired so I drank another.

2. When I need printing paper, I take it from work. I have never purchased printer paper in my life.

3. Every day for the past 3 weeks when my alarm has gone off, I have gotten out of bed, picked up my phone, hit snooze, and went right back to bed for at least another 30 minutes.

4. I bought a pair of jeans that I wore for 2 hours. I returned them the next day.


Fess up y'all!

Judgment

I met this woman. Within our first 5 minute conversation, I judged her. That's a lie, within the moment of looking at her, I judged her.

She is petite, blonde, drives a really big SUV. Her hair always looks good, she dresses well, and is always put together. I have never seen this woman look bad. She carries a huge Louie V purse, and I have never seen so much as her nail polish chipped.

Just by her outward appearance, I judged her. I had her pegged as capital D A L L A S. I looked her up and down once and I told myself, she is a trophy wife, with no substance. I disliked her within 20 seconds of laying eyes on her.

There is a problem with what I did. I judged her, which left me no room to love her.

What took me by surprise is that this woman is pretty great. It should not have, but it did. She is kind, funny, and caring. We were chatting Monday morning, and she said something, and it struck a cord with me. She gave me a bit of insight into her life, and it stopped me in my tracks. In just a short sentence, I suddenly saw that her life was not what I expected it to be. She has not had the charmed life I assumed she had. She has fought and struggled. There have been tears, trials, hardships, and valleys. She has had a tough road, but managed to fight her way through it, and rather than letting it make her bitter, it made her better.

We have made plans to have lunch next week and talk. To really get to know each other, and to share life experiences.

Shame on me for judging. Shame on me for not giving her a chance. Thank goodness for her that pressed on and pursued a friendship.She continued to be kind, warm, and caring to me.

I think its the kindness of others in the light of meanness or rudeness that is so striking. And humbling.
It is humbling really, being on the receiving end of undeserved kindness.

I can only hope and pray that I will no longer be a victim to my own preconceived ideas and notions.

Have you ever been unfairly judged? Have you unfairly judged others?

Lets talk trash and a dog picture

I have been experiencing some frustration latley and well, its frustrating. And stinky. And wasteful.

Its our garbage, and it stinks. P and I have been eating well and relativly cleanly for a few years, but we have tightened up since January. We eat organic meats, fresh produce, nuts, and the occassional snacks of course.

One thing that I have noticed since January is that our garbage is smeller than normal. Its bad, really really bad. I think its the organic meats. I think because they are not treated with any chemicals or hormines, the natural odors are more potent. I have noticed that if I throw out the packaging, within a few hours, it stinks up the house so badly that we have to throw the garbage bag much more often.

For a frugalista like me, this becomes so annoying because I am throwing out a 1/2 used bag. Argh. I buy the flex bags because I really like to pack them full of trash, almost to the point they are going to burst.

We have even gone to the point of buying a new trash can with a lid to keep the smell from perminating through our house. On a side note, has anyone been in the market for a new trash can latley? Those suckers can cost over $100.00 bones.....seriously, to hold my trash? Needless to say, we certainly did not buy one of those space age, gold lined, purchse from Sky Mall cans.

We have also started composting, but our compost pile is very small, and we are throwing out a good amount of our produce roots into the pile, but our compost pile is not yet ready to get so much.
Does anyone else have this problem? What do you do? I really do hate throwing out a 1/2 bag of trash.

And on a random note, I have been wanting to show you something.

I know this picture is hard to see, but a few weeks ago, I pulled up to the house after work and noticed our gate was wide open. I have no idea how long it was open, or how it was opened, but look at those dogs. I was so proud. They know they are not allowed to go in the front yard without us, and our dogs sat right by the gate and waited for us to be home!

Friday Confessions

1. P and I were laying on the couch and I passed gas, then held tight onto him to keep him close.

2. I was singing at the top of my lunges with the windows down and the car next to me watched and listened.

3. I have run a total of 3 miles this week.

 

Fess up y'all!

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Happy Birthday to the greatest woman I know

I call her many things, momsicle, mompop, momzilla,ma,momsie,woman, but the most important thing I call her is mom.

This is a woman who birthed me, raised me, and put up with me, nonsense and all. She held my hand when I shed tears, and held my heart when it was broken. She forced me to pick myself up time and time again, not that she was ever gentle about it.

She is a woman made of steel and grit. She has had to rely on her strength time and time again. For many years, life was not easy, it was a struggle, daily. But she pressed on, got up each day, put one foot in front of the other, and pressed on. She was strong because she had to be, and needed to be. She never complained about how hard it was, she simply pressed forward.

Despite her tough shell, she is soft inside. That tough exterior harded after many a long day. But just beyond the fighter is a woman who has a heart of gold. She will dispense advise, but will also listen. A heart that over flowes with love, kindess, and charity. A heart cries at sweet commercials, but she fights valiently to hide the tears as they streak down her face.

She believes in faith, family, charity, and strength. She knows not of her own beauty, but sees it in others. She does not understand how much she means to so many people. Friend to many, mother to two, wife to one.

She is my best friend, my confidant, my mom. I am so proud to be her daughter, and I hope one day I grow up to be just like her.

Happy birthday mom, I love you more than words can say.