Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Bike For P

For the past few months P has been expressing interest in getting a road bike. He has mentioned several times in the last few months and my response has always been, yea that would be cool to get, one day. See we are still on Dave Ramsey baby step 3, saving for a fully funded emergency fund. It is going really well, and we are saving over 1/4 of our income every month. Plus, we still get to enjoy life by eating out and doing things like going to the movies, etc. A few weeks ago P and a friend went cycling one morning and P came home and was really excited and again we had the discussion about the bike. He was excited and really wants this. P rarely says that he wants anything and when he does want something, he spends his fun money on it. As we were talking about it I came up with about 36 reasons why we could not do it. We need this, we need that, we need to save, etc. Basically, I was not the most supportive, I immediately went to negative, and no, rather than discuss it. Then a few days later I was out for a run and thinking and I suddenly got an idea. What if we used some money from our checking, and for the next 2 months rather than using money for dining out and entertainment, we use that money for a bike. I realized that P having a bike and getting to do something he really enjoys means more to me than going out to dinner and seeing a movie. He is going to have a blast and get a serious workout in all at the same time.

So, P, I love you. I wish I could give you everything you ever wanted. I wish that I could go out and get it for you right now. You have never asked for that, it is simply my desire. You deserve this. You support me, love me, honor me, cherish me, and I feel like the most loved girl in the world. My hope and prayer is that I can do the same for you. You are an amazing man, and your love humbles me. You love me even when it is hard. You love me when I am at my worst. You love me when I don't give it my all. Thank you P for being who you are. Your love makes me want to be a better woman.

Confrontation

I have to confront a friend. I generally not afraid of confrontation, but I don't seek it out either. I prefer peace. I prefer drama free. But, unfortunately, my friend does not. Here is the situation, and let me be clear, I take my share of the blame here. Most of the time my mouth gets me into trouble. I tend to be fairly quick witted, and when it comes to a verbal sparring match, I have trouble backing down, a lot of trouble. So here is the story.
I carpool to work with 4 girls and 1 guy. We have all been friends for years, and usually it is so much fun. One of our carpool mates, the male, is very passive aggressive, and makes snotty little comments to us, and basically feels somewhat superior. We have all talked before about saying something to our friend about his attitude, and the others tend to talk about the problems when he is not around. I however, tend to be very black and white, and often say what I feel. Last Friday, he made a really snotty remark to me, and I was sitting in the back seat, and smarted off to him. (Not the best way to respond to him, not a good idea to embarrass him in front of other, so I totally own up to what I did wrong.) We got in little verbal scuffle, someone changed the subject and we moved on. He had not moved on. He is the coach of our kickball team and was snotty to me that night, I took it, did not say anything and let it go. Finally, on Sunday we all went to support a friend in her triathlon, and I was talking and telling a story, that someone overheard, and took offense to. (It was about running skirts. One of my good teacher friends is getting into shape and running and she is super girly, loves bows, sparkles, etc, and was telling me all about her running skirt she bought. I laughed told her she was a dork and it was a big joke. Well a girl in a running skirt heard the conversation and thought I was bashing her and she stared me down and then when she ran by me during the race, she shouted "Running in a skirt is awesome. So yea she was mad.) Anyways, I felt terrible for making someone mad, but she only heard a part of the convo and took offense. One of my most embarrassing moments.
My friend, laughed and said "O thats you in a nutshell, we can't take you anywhere." Then he went on and on about how much of an embarrassment I am. I have been mulling this over in my head and I just keep getting angry. We work at a Christian school, and I cannot hold on to this anger. I need to ask for his forgiveness for all of the times I have caused him to stumble. But, I also need to confront his attitude. I want to do it before the situation gets worse and erupts into something bigger than it should be. He is my brother in Christ, and this not the way the body is supposed to work. My goal is to speak with him tomorrow morning. I will let you know how it goes.
(As I read this I think to myself, stupid drama. UHHH)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

7th Grade B Team


7th Grade B Team District Champs, that is the name of my team. This summer P and I have been playing on a kickball team. The cost was 20.00, and to be honest, it was some of the best money we have spent all summer. Each Friday night, we head out to the ball park, and get to relive life in gym and play a hilarious game of kickball. Some teams get really into it, others hardly have enough people to play, and some are just out for a few laughs and to have a good time. It has been so much fun, and I have really enjoyed getting to act like a clown every Friday night. It has been such a great way to get some exercise, a few laughs, and harness my inner child. We have one game left and then the tournament.
It is been so much fun and I think the reason that I have enjoyed it is because I get exercise and have fun while doing it. I have enjoyed training for the marathon but I am so focused on the goal and beating my times that this polar opposite is exactly what I need. It really loosens me up the night before my long run, because I don't focus on what will happen the next day. I focus on fun and friends, and at times that is exactly what the doctor orders.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Flying Solo

I am flying solo this weekend. P and his friends are on a fishing trip at the coast and from reports from him, it sounds like they are having a great time. So that means I am on my own for the next 48 hours.
I have not decided what I am going to do yet, and while I will miss P, I know he will have a great time.
I am going to spend the weekend getting things done, small things that are on my todo list. While it will not be glamorous and exciting I defiantly feel better when I have crossed things off my list. Plus, everything is about to get hectic, so I will breath a little easier knowing that I have accomplished my tasks. Here is my todo list:
Run 13 miles--my training run on Saturday morning.
Shopping!!-I need to buy a new pair of black kitten heels, mine have been destroyed by walking on the blacktop pavement on the playground.
Oil Change-I am about 100 miles over due
Returns-I have a few items to return to some different stores
Clean the house--Done! I got it done right after work tonight.
Lesson Plans--uhh the bain of my existence during the school year
Support team--my friend is doing a mini triathlon this weekend and I am going to support her. She is nervous and I want to be there and cheer her on.
Grocery shopping--We need just a few things so that will be easy.
Rest--My goal is to get everything done on Saturday so that on Sunday I can just sit back, rest, and enjoy the day.
Hope yall have a great weekend!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Post Run Glow

I realized that I have not blogged about my decision. I decided to run a marathon this November. I am following a training program from a running magazine and it is going well. I am about a month into the training and while it is hard, it has been incredibly rewarding. Before I started this program I had doubts, and in my head I was battling back and forth if I could do it. Then my bff and I decided to train together, then she dropped out because she is pregnant!!! Yea!! But, that left me in a small delima. I went back and forth in my mind telling myself I can do this, then doubts would creep in and I would here a small voice saying there is no way you can do it. Quit, run the 1/2 marathon, it is easier, this marathon is out of your league. But I kept running. I have been at it for a few weeks now, and my longest run was 12 miles, and I did it on my own. While I ran that distance last year during the 1/2 marathon, I did it with others around me. I did it with the support of a friend and the crowd. I questioned myself, I questioned could I run 12 miles on my own, with no one around.
So last Saturday I set out and I ran, and I did not stop. There are a few times I was really tired because it was so hot, but I kept running. When I was running and my knees were aching, my mouth dry, and my spirit low, and ready to stop, another voice came in my head. I heard all of the people who have ever told me I could not do something, and this time, rather than listen to them, I got mad, and I wanted to prove them wrong. I did then, and I will in November. I will run 26.2. I might not break any records, but I will finish that marathon. So on days like today, my day that I am supposed to sleep in, I wake up at 5:30, strap on my water belt, lace up my shoes and I hit the pavement. I think about the doubters who don't have the courage to set goals and then do the work to reach them. I think about all the coaches who yelled at me on the soccer field all those years ago. I think about how they pointed out my flaws and weaknesses and I turn that from doubt to motivation. And that is what moves me. That is what keeps me going. That, and the feeling. The feeling that I have right now. That post run glow, that feeling that some feat has been accomplished, and I get to spend the rest of my day relaxing, knowing that I don't have to do that again, feel that kind of pain again for another 6 days. I have done more than 30 miles this week and I have a slow 4 miler tomorrow, and then comes Monday, my glorious day off, a day where I get to leave my tennis shoes in my closet, and come straight home after work, rather than go and workout.
I remembered something about myself during this training. I remembered that I am strong. I am one tough woman (now the anthem from Rocky is playing in the background--hehe, jk!) and if I set my mind to something, and commit, I can and will do it. I remembered it, and I want to hold on to it. It is funny how at your weakest moment, you realize things about yourself that you somehow forgot along the way, isnt it.
It is funny to me how the thing I once despised, (running) because it was a punishment, is now something that I long to do. It is my sanity after a long day, it is my therapist when I need to work things out in my head, it is my excitement at the end of the day. It is good.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Long Live the Sandwich


This has been the staple of our diet the past 2 weeks. Seriously. For the past few weeks, P and I have hardly cooked, which is very unusual for us. Normally we cook together almost every night of the week, and then eat the leftovers. But for the past 2 weeks we have been eating almost nothing but the sandy. My diet has not differed in the slightest the past few days. Here has been my menu-
Breakfast-Oatmeal and fresh fruit
Snack-Cheese Stick
Lunch- Sandwich, fruit, wheat thins
Dinner-Sandwich, fruit, wheat thins
Right now P is in the kitchen fixing his own sandy and enjoying every bite. I just finished one of my own, but as I was eating it, it hit me that this has been my main dish for almost 14 days. WOW.
I can chalk it up to being busy, to the new school year, but the truth is I just have not felt like cooking.
Hopefully tomorrow I will prepare something for dinner. If not, there is always the sandy!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Its Over

Summer is over. AHHHH.
First, let me apologize for the lack of posts this month. I have been terrible about blogging this summer. I finished working my part time job and had 2 weeks to sit back, relax, and do nothing. And that is what I did. It was a glorious 2 weeks of staying up late, sleeping in, and spending up as much time outside as possible. I went to the river almost every day, and spent so much time outside and soaking up the sunshine, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
I went back to school this week. We are doing in service until next Tuesday which is the 1st day of school. As much as I enjoy being a teacher, I really enjoyed this summer. I enjoyed seeing my friends every day. I enjoyed making my own schedule. I enjoyed the freedom to lay in bed as long as I wanted. I had a great summer, and I am sad to see it go.
The heat will be around for another few months so I will still be able to play outside after work.
Goodbye sweet summer, goodbye