Friday, April 3, 2009

I am fading fast

In trying to write this post I have started, erased, started, and erased about 4 times. Nothing I write seems to be very good, or clear, so I just need to stop. I need to stop and simply be honest. I am fading fast. I am tired. I am worn out. I am done. I like to think that I can do it all, but I can't. I like to think that I can handle anything, but no I can't.
I think that playing collegiate soccer made me very disciplined. We had a coach that made us run 50 yard sprints for each "administrative mistake" someone made. For example, if someone wore the wrong colored socks that day, it was 2 50 yard sprints for the entire team. If someone was 5 minutes late to practice, that was 5 50 yard sprints for the entire team. If there were girls who skipped class, it was that many 50 yard sprints for the entire team. This was after practice and our normal conditioning. Once during 3-a-days we had 2 freshman on our team who went to shower before dinner, and they were 30 minutes late to our team meal. The next day, we had 60 50 yard sprints. Our coach let us break it up into groups of 20 at a time. (He told us he was being nice.)
So, as a result of that, I became very disciplined. I rarely forget appointments, I am hardly ever late, and if I am, I get very antsy. Because I am so disciplined, I tend not to forget things very often.
Well, my can do-I got it-its no big deal-I can handle it attitude has fallen to the floor. These past 2 weeks have been so crazy and busy that I have been forgetting everything. I have let people down, and because of my error they have been both upset and disappointed with me. This has happened both on the work front and in my personal life.
And today to top it off, is a co-worker/good friend's birthday. She does not like cake, so I was planning to make this sugar cookie pizza. It is a sugar cookie rolled out like a pizza, and after it is baked you make a mixture of cream cheese, vanilla and sugar and put it on top. Then you top the pizza with M&M's, fruit, or anything else the birthday girl likes.
Well, yours truly dropped the ball, and realized that when I got to school I forgot to make it. I arrived at 7:40, realized my mistake at 7:50, went to the store and got back by 8:05. The ladies in the cafeteria made the cookie cake for me. Well, in transit the cookie broke and the cookie pizza did not work out.
Thankfully she laughed so hard when I told her the story and apologized to her for my mistake. She laughed it off and our team had a great party.
Despite being busy and dropping the ball, I am trying to make lemon aid out of lemons. I just say I am sorry, and I am thankful to my friends who love me and forgive me and laugh at my mistakes.
I am looking forward to this weekend. I need some much needed rest. I have to teach today, and then a track meet and will hopefully be home around 9. Just 12 more hours!!!

1 comment:

Denise said...

oh, hang in there. I can really relate. do you have spring break soon? I am off all next week. no plans, just catching up. enjoy your weekend.