20 going on 13

I hope that yall have been having a great Christmas. Ours has been full of family, food, fun, and lots of laughter, just what a holiday should be. Being back at my childhood home in Houston, I realized that I have somehow managed to revert from being a 20 somthing female into a 13 year old male. Heres how

1.I wake to find my mom making my breakfast each morning.
2. My personal hygene has been questionable at best.
3. When I have actually showered, its been with Old Spice.
4. I don't recall brushing my teeth today.
5. I don't recall putting on deodrant the past 2 days.
6. Clearly, I am mal odorous
7. I have been eating non stop.
8. I have not changed out of sweats in the past 36 hours.
9. I have been farting and scratching openly.
10. When the opportunity arrises, I "probe" my mom, even as her head is in the oven checking our Christmas meal.