Friday Confessions

What up peeps???

Here are my weekly confessions:

1.I saw a penny on the ground in the restroom of a convenience store, and I picked it put. I could not help it. The bathroom was not clean, and still, I picked up off the ground. Eww. I know disgusting.

2.I didn't write my confessions last week. Thats not too bad because I have skipped before, but last week, my bloggy friend Brooke over at Frugal Trophy Wife gave me a shout out and sent people over, and there were no confessions. Thanks Brooker, and sorry!

3.I've run 3 miles this week. Remember when I blogged about how I was running and it was going to be amazing, and I was going to be so disciplined. That has not happened this week. San Diego was fun, but we were out late and up early, and I have been exhausted, so I've slept in everyday.


Fess up y'all. 

If your going to San Diego, please let me come with you.

California is awesome, but you already knew that. P had a business trip to Cali last week, and I decided to tag along for a few days. It was a win win win situation because his company was paying for his flight, food, car, and fun! All we had to pay for was my flight and meals. Score!  I took a 1/2 day off of work on Thursday, and we flew out on Friday. Unfortunately, I am already back home, but it was a fun and busy weekend. 

I could do what ever other blogger does after a trip and give you a recap, but I won't do that. I will however show you a ton of pictures, and tell you what I learned. 

California is beautiful. I know this, and so do you. But there is something about standing on a cliff, overlooking the ocean that takes my breath away every time. I could sit and stare out into the ocean for hours, and relish those moments where I felt small, vulnerable, and insignificant  I walk around acting like life is all about me and my situation. The sun does not rise and set because of my life, according to my schedule or needs. Life moves forward with or without me, and in the grand scheme of things, I am only a second in a trillion year story. It was refreshing to be reminded that the world does not revolve around me. 

 I crave beauty. The hardest part of being in Dallas is living in a concrete jungle. This trip reminded me to seek out the beauty in life. Find it. It may not always be so obvious, but its there.

There are many people who are nothing like me, and that's ok.  Call me naive  but sometimes I go through life thinking that everyone is just like me. They believe what I believe, think how I think, and agree with my world view. That could not be further from the truth. California is very different from Texas. I live in a very Southern, conservative, wealthy town, and there are many people who have the same world view as I do. It was refreshing to be in a place that was different than my every day experience. It challenged me, and at times made me feel uncomfortable, but its those times of uncomfortable that lead to growth. I want to grow and need to grow. I didn't love when I saw a guy shooting drugs up his arm. It scared me, it saddened me, and it made my heart cry out for him. So often, I am quick to judge, and write people like that off. I tell myself "If he were strong, he would quit." "If he had discipline, he would pick himself up on his own." "If he were more like me, he would not be such a loser." That was hard to write. That was even harder to admit to myself. The last thing anyone needs is my judgment. The first thing I need to give is love. There is not enough of that to go around.

I hope you have a chance to get out of town this summer, even if just for a weekend. To go somewhere beautiful, to feel inspired and challenged. I hope you have a chance to step out of the norm of life and ask questions to yourself, even if they are hard, and you know the answers are ugly.  I hope you get to feel uncomfortable, and small. I hope you give yourself the gift of really living and dreaming. I hope you turn of your phone, and forget about email for a few hours. I hope you turn off the t.v., the music, and the distractions, and tune into life.

So often I am so caught up in the day to day that I forget to live. I forget to dream. I forget that this is my one shot, I don't get any do overs. I need to enjoy life more, and focus less on my to do lists. I need to hug my husband more, and kiss in public. I want to walk hand in hand with him everywhere. I want to be warmed by my toes in the sand, and the sun on my face. I want to continue to be shaped, molded, and challenged. I want to be better tomorrow than I am today.

Embracing Summer

The days are long, the air is hot, and things have become more laid back. Is it just me, or do you find that everyone chill’s out a little bit more in the summer time?

Work is busy, like always, but everyone seems to be in a little less of a hurry. Fewer people are in the office, we have been shutting down early on Friday’s, and the restaurants are always full when I drive by.

I have always loved summer. I don’t care if 105 every day for 3 months straight, there is something magical about those long, slow, hot nights. I still get a thrill out of seeing lightning bugs in the yard. I still get giddy when the sun starts to rise at 5:45AM, and does not set until almost 9:00. Growing up, I always felt like summer was my gift; a present of hot long days that are meant to be cherished. I was always terrified of the dark, and so the long days when the sun stayed up made me feel comforted and safe. The blanket of heat meant never having to go outside in anything more than shorts and a t-shirt.

Some of the best times of my life happened in the summer of years past. I met P in the summer. We took vacations in the summer. No school in the summer. Lots of swimming in the summer. Summer time is magic, its special, and its to be embraced.

A few weeks ago, I told P, “I really want to embrace this summer. I don’t want to hole up inside watching t.v. I want to get out, explore, and have fun.” His response “Yea, lets do it.”

We have one very short trip planned this summer. I am just piggy backing on a business trip with him for a weekend, and other than that we are stuck in the big D. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a place nearly as beautiful as this. Yes, Denise, I stalk your blog for hiking photos daily. But, we do have our share of parks and trails, so P and I have decided to hit them all up. The last few weeks, we have managed to hit up 3 local parks. We either ride bikes on the trails or run. Its been fun to get out of the house, explore some new hidden areas, and get really sweaty.

This past weekend, P and I were going to have date night. It was hot. And sweaty. And we covered about 11 miles on our bikes. On Sunday, we ended up hitting the trails again, and covered nearly 20 miles. I feel as if we have discovered a hidden gem in Dallas. This huge city is actually connected by a major trail system. Our goal for the summer is to cover every square inch of the trail system on our bikes or on our feet. The great thing about this is, its all free. We don’t have to spend any money to go anywhere.

I want to find the gift of summer again. I want to get dirty and explore. I want to have skinned knees, and horrific tan lines, and let go of responsibility, even if its just for an hour, and rediscover the wide eyed young girl I used to be. The girl who was outside so much her hair was dyed by the sun. The girl who only came inside when the street lights turned on. The little girl who was the eternal optimist. Full of hope, laugher, and innocence.

 

How are you going to embrace summer this year?

Happy Fathers Day, Big Poppi

Dad,

 

I feel like I have so much to say to you, but the words just are not coming out right. I have tried to write this 3 times already, but the words never fully expressed what I am trying to say.

 

Simply put, I love you so much, and I am so thankful to you. I don't know how you did it all those years. Working 3 jobs, working 80 hour weeks, putting up with us. You really did lay down your life for us didn't you?

 

You were such a rock when we were growing up. I don't know how many times I walked into the garage to talk at night. You would be working or tinkering on something, and I would come sit on the counter and tell you about my day, my frustrations, or my dreams. I loved those times. You listened, talked, advised, and then gave me a hug and told me how proud you were of me. You said that all the time, and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

You also listened without judgment. I think that was why I was never scared to confide in you. I knew that if I told you something, you would never hold it over my head. You accepted me flaws and all.

 

Thank you for loving me Dad. Thank you for spending hours practice soccer with me in the back yard. Thank you for driving thousands of miles to watch every single game I played. Thank you for buying hundred of meals for me after games. Thank you for giving me away at our wedding. Thank you for being who you are and sacrificing your dreams, so that I could achieve mine.

 

I love you. Happy Fathers day.

 

 

 

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Friday Confessions: Running edition

Here are my weekly confessions from my running this week:

1. When running with my dog, I don't let him stop to sniff and pee. So he has gotten in the habit of peeing while running. I am a mean owner.

This would be my dogs urine trail while running. I would not let
him stop to pee, yet I allowed myself to stop and take the photo. 

2. Running gets the pipes going....internally. I was rushing back home one day after the run, and I needed to get to the restroom. I turned the corner and passed gas really loudly when I thought no one was around. Turns out, an entire family was on the side of the yard, and they clearly heard it. 

3. I ran in 95 degree heat. I told everyone, and basically made myself out to be a martyr for running in the heat. 

4. I trip on something nearly every time I run. This week, I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk in front of a group of teenagers. They all saw and laughed. I was embarrassed.

Fess up y'all. 

How Stella's getting her run back

Yea, I just called myself Stella.

Running these past 2 weeks have been amazing. Coincidentally, two weeks ago, I started using Castor oil on my foot. These past two weeks, the pain in my foot has subsided dramatically. The wart is still there, but I think its healing.

I have been running with purpose. For the past few months, my running has been lacking discipline, passion, and purpose. I came to realize that I was running just to check it off my to do list. I didn't really realize this on my own, this little gem of a revelation came from P. One day I was complaining about running to P, and he simply looked at me and said "You are only running to check it off your list. You don't really care about what you are doing." BOOM. There are so many times, that I get so lost in my own head, and when I talk about them to P, he tells me directly what I need to hear, whether I want to hear it or not. He is a straight shooter, and will tell me the truth, even at the risk of hurting my feelings. I  need that. A lot.

The Plan. I want to run a 24 minute 5K. My plan is to rebuild from the ground up. I am going to spend the summer doing more speed work and fewer junk miles. Every run, from speed work to recovery will have a purpose. The funny thing is, this is all the stuff I know, and I have done before, but I just was not putting it into practice. I got comfortable running at a slow pace, stopping whenever I felt like it, and I was comfortable not pushing myself.

Speaking of purpose, I have also been doing some speed miles. I mapped out a route around my neighborhood that is exactly one mile. Oddly enough, I don't do well when I don't have a specific route in mind. I actually ran my fastest marathon 2 year ago. At the time, the street in front of our apartment was exactly a mile, stop sign to stop sign. I did every single run on that sidewalk, even my long 20 milers. I found that I am motivated when I can see the end point, and I can tell myself I only need to run on the exact spot X amount of times again until I am done. Yea, I am nuts, I know.

I have a benchmark. A few weeks ago, I ran a 5K in 26 minutes. Not my fastest 5K ever, but that is where I am physically right now. I know I can beat that. On Monday afternoon, I ran 3 miles in 96 degree heat in 26 minutes.

I have been running in the 7:00's. I am super comfortable running between 8:15-8:30. When I start running faster, I panic, and force myself to slow down. I get scared and worried that I am going to fail.

A little evidence for you. That's 7:16. So what
if I only ran one mile, and wanted to pass out
afterwards. I still ran in the 7:00's. 

I am ready. I am ready to train, and train hard. I am ready to run again. Some days, I have even run twice, just for fun.

It feels good to be back. It's like reuniting with an old friend.

Help me stay inspired; How do you get out of a running rut? What keeps you inspired when you run? How do you stay motivated to train hard?

Holistic Healing

Remember my whore foot?

Yes, I know, its an attractive name for something so unattractive.

Basically, I have a huge wart on the ball of my right foot and it hurts like heck, all the time. Every time I step on my my right foot, it sent pain shooting through my foot.

I have had it cut out twice, but it keeps coming back.

Around 2 weeks ago, I called my friend who is  holistic, seeking help because what I had done in the past was not working. She suggesting using castor oil packs on my foot. I was a little skeptical at first, and even told her I did not believe her voodoo would work,but I would give it a try.

Dare I say, its working?

On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain has dropped from a 7, down to around a 3. It is crazy that this oil that cost 4.00 at Whole Foods is pulling this virus out of my foot. I spent hundreds of dollars at the doctor, and weeks on crutches each time I had it cut out. It took time, costs me and my insurance company money, and put me in a ton of pain. But for a few bucks, my foot is feeling better than it has in months.

I have been doing some research and I am more and more amazed by what castor oil can do. This stuff is awesome!!!

It can be used as an antiviral (which is how I am using it), relieves arthritis symptoms, can be used as antibacterial, and used to fight tumors, among many other things.

I can see each day how it is pulling the virus out of my body, and the pain continues to subside. Prior to using castor oil, I had been using Compound W, and it was tearing up the skin on my foot. The castor oil has also been healing the skin that surrounds the wart.

Overall, I am starting to find more uses for this oil, and I am starting to become more and more curious about holistic healing.

Friday confessions

1. I walked into the restroom at work, and said "eww" really loudly. Turns out, the person was still in the stall.

2. I've been watching old episodes of The Babysitters Club on Netflix.

3. I am reading a book meant for teenage girls.

4. the guy who checked me out at the store had an accent. So I spoke with an accent too.

 

Fess up y'all!

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