Cravings

The past few weeks I have had some major cravings for a book. Just a really good, sink your teeth into, you don't have to think, just lose yourself in the moment, great beach read book. Normally, I alwasy have at least 3 books in my book basket waiting to be picked up. However, the last 2 months, I have hardly read at all, which is not like me. One of my favorite things to do is lay on the couch after everything in done, curled up with my big blanket, and spend my remaining waking moments in a book. Or it is to fill the tub with steaming hot water, sit back, soak, and read until the water turns cold. I have been known to stay in the tub for hours with a good book in my hand, unwilling to put it down. When a book is good, I usually finish it in a day, maybe two, depending upon my schedule. Finally, last week I made it to the library and pickedup a ton of books. Books that I will be reading simply for pleasure, nothing more.
I am almost finished with, o gosh, here I go, I am kind of embarrassed to tell you the author---ahh Daniel Steel's book, Family Ties. It is a simple read, full of twists and turns, basically it is a soap opera in about 400 pages.
It is trash. I know this. It is pure indulgence. I know this, but sometimes, trash feels good!

Rain

Rain rain go away,

come again another day,

we want to go out and play

come again some other day.

It wont stop raining. It has been raining for days and days. We had a game today and it got cancelled. Because of the rain. Stop raining. Please.

I would never make it in the Pacific Northwest or some other rainy climate. This is Texas. I miss the heat and the sun. I am starting to get depressed. I miss the sun shine.

Giving up my citizenship

I almost did it yesterday, I almost gave up my American citizenship. Why?? Because I went to Walmart, a ghetto Walmart.

Now, like me, I am sure most people have a pretty strong opinion about Walmart, love it, hate it, or indifferent. Me, I really like Walmart. Where else can I go and go and get goods at rock bottom prices? Where else can I find Kashi cereal, buy a flat screen t.v., a pair of socks, and new curtains all at the same time??? Nowhere I tell you, nowhere else. So, yea I am on the Walmart time!!! Way to go guys.

But yesterday, I almost gave up my citizenship while there. What is it about Wally world that caters to the lowest demographic of our society? Uhhh. While going up and down the isles, I heard the most crude, and ignorant junk coming out of peoples mouthes. I saw so many people with their shorts hanging down around their ankles, and their wife beaters (undershirts, around here we call them wife beaters) wrapped around their protruding bellies. And teenage girls walking around with "clothes" so scandalous, I almost grabbed a trench coat from the clothing section and threw it on them. And, what is the deal with people walking 5 deep, traveling approximately 1/2 a mile per hour, in an isle and not letting a sister through? Not even bothering to respond to my polite "excuses me" or the polite throat clears. At one point, I almost shouted at the top of my lungs mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeee. But, I didn't feel like getting shot yesterday, seeing as we had people coming over within the hour, and Walmart being the closest store to my crib, hence, my appearance at the store.

So being there, seeing what we are producing in this country made me want to give up my citizenship. Saying that is a lot for me, because I love this country. I am extremely patriotic, and I would pit my love for America against anyone. I mean, I think the only other person who loves this country more than I do is Glenn Beck, and the only reason I am bestowing the title upon him is because he cries all the time. Me, I am not really a crier, if I was, that might put me over the edge, but since I am not, I will give it to him.

So yes, I love America. She is in my top 3 loves. God, Family, America. I love her. But, come on, we need to start producing off spring better than this. Please, America.

Home Again

We have a home. Ahhh...peace...... I never realized how much not having a home would affect me. That place to look forward to at the end of the day. Surrounded by things that make you smile, make you laugh, and bring you comfort. A place to call your own. Your environment. It is important. So here we are at home, all but a temporary one at that. We are living in our small one bedroom apartment. It is odd really, going from a home in the country to an apartment in the city. We did a complete 180 from where we were before. A small home, 30 acres, a garden, a slow meandering street with the occasional car going by. To now, a small one bedroom apartment, no yard, just a small porch, right at the intersection of the busiest highway in Texas.
Talk about different. But, it is ok. Because I know, or at least I hope, that we wont be here forever. This is just a temporary pause, a ditch, a resting place. A time and a place to stop, regroup, figure out life, make some decisions, find our direction, our path, and then forge ahead.
That is how I see our life here.
It is funny really, because I gripped, and excuse my french, bitched about our old house. I was pissed off, again please pardon the language, every time I had to get out of my car to open and close the gate. I was frustrated about the single pane windows. I was irritated by the fact that it took me a good 20 minutes just to get to the nearest store. I was annoyed that I used so much extra gas just getting home from work everyday. But, somewhere along the way, I fell in love with that life. I fell in love with that charming, quirky, messy, old house. I fell in love with the sound of the screen door banging shut. I fell in love with the sound of the kaddy bugs chirping so loud every night that it was almost deafening. I fell in love with that old worn down road in front of my house. I didn't realize it, until the day we moved out. I had a major sob fest, and I set on my front porch, legs on P's lap, and took one final picture of us at that house.
When we walked away, I realized something else, it is not the structure that makes a house a home, it is the people, and the life they create for themselves that makes it a home.
Here we are, in the big city, in the exact spot I dreamed about for years. The life I dreamed about, the urban metropolis, full of glitz and glamour, and to be frank, I am not sure I want it any more. But, again were here. Here is home. And, I am realizing more and more, that home for me is wherever P is. It is funny to me to think about when we got married, and I loved him so much, and I could never imagine loving him more than I did that day. Now, looking back, I have grown to love him even more than I did that day. Home is where he is, and where he goes, I will follow. House, apartment, trailer, or a extended stay hotel room, where he is, there my heart is.
This is where God has us for now, and I am learning to be content no matter the circumstance,-- well, I am praying that I am, and I am a work in progress, and I hope I am getting there every a little more everyday.

It's Over

Finally, this month is over. Finally. Am I the only one or does August see like it lasted for ever? I don't know if it is because we have been displaced for so long, or what, but seriously, this month went on forever. I am so glad that it is finally September. So far, in this month of displacement,

I have rested my head in 5 different places. 5. It is almost over. In less than a week we will be in our new place surrounded by our own things. Our own bed, our own sheets, it will be lovely.