I'm Her

Looking at yesterday's post, I had a revelation, I am my mother.
A decade ago, this revelation would have made me ill. As I said before, I was a major turd growing up. (A real pain in the a@#.)
As I reread the song that I typed, the song she sang to me, I thought about all the way in which we are similar.

Her Me
-she is a voracious reader-- me too
-she is opinionated-- me too
-she loves Target-- me too
-she underestimates herself-- me too
-she knows every song from the 50's and 60's-- me too
-she laughs really loudly-- me too
-she is stubborn-- me too
-she is cheap, no frugal-- me too
-she thinks she is always right-- me too
-she can hold a grudge-- me too
-she holds a black belt in silent warfare-- me too
-she prefers baking to cooking ---me too
-she shows her love through service --me too

In many ways, after my husband, she is my best friend. She knows me so well and could probably predict how I would respond to most things.
I like to shock her and make her think I am wild child and a bit crazy.
In college when she asked me about my weekend plans, I would respond by saying "I am going to turn tricks on the corner, knock over a liquor store, get really wasted, then get some tatts on my arms."
-She did not think I was funny or charming when I said that.
In other ways we are really different too.
She is a good listener---I am not.
She will let me ramble on about the most assinine stuff without ever interrupting.
She always lets me hang up the phone whenever I get tired of talking without getting mad.
She never says I told you so.
She lets me pick the radio and t.v. stations.
She will eat raw fish at Whole Foods unknowingly because I ask her to try it.

Overall, she is pretty fantastic. She has more strength and courage than she shows or gives herself credit for. She does not recognize her grace or her virtue.

It is from her I learned discipline.
It is because of her that I am who I am today.
It is because of her strength that I have never laid down, and let life beat me.
It is because of her that I am a fighter.

I guess if I had to be like her--well, its not that terrible.

Jock Walk

I have a special song that I sing to P in the mornings, it is a song my mom used to sing to me, and it goes like this:
Good morning to you,
Good morning to you,
Were all in our places,
With sunshiny faces,
and this is the way,
we start a new day.

I hum that to myself most mornings. I also sing that to P regularly in the mornings. He claims he doesn't like it, but I know better. I know he really does!

P also has a morning ritual. A few times a week before I leave, the likes to tell me, "Try to walk less like a jock." He then proceeds to mimic the way I walk. However, when he mimics me, it looks as if an ape were walking up right, just a tad step past dragging his knuckles on the ground.
UHH--as if.....
I walk the way I walk and I like it.
I walk fast- really fast. I don't really like to meander. I have a goal, I get to it, get it done, and move on.
I step hard--I will give him that one. I am a loud walker. I wear heels almost everyday and they are loud.
I am an alpha walker--I usually weave in and out of people, and I always try to slip in the door before the next person.
Sometimes I race people to doors, corners, mailboxes. They don't know we are racing, but usually I win, and do a little victory celebration in my mind.

Most mornings when P does his little routine, I roll my eyes and laugh.
I walk how I walk, and I like it.
To be honest, I know he does too!

Ipadded

We purchased this.

It cost a lot of $$$$.

I called P one afternoon, and by that night we bought it.

I have had regrets because of $$$.

I don't want to talk about how much it $$$$.

But I really like it.

Depressing

Now that I work in the corporate world, my days are different than when I taught.
When I was teaching, the day was broken up into nice and neat segments, 1 hour incriments.
With this new job- my days are no longer broken down into class times.
Now, my days are measured by the programs on NPR.
8-9 Morning edition. I get caught up on the major headlines
9-11- The Diahne Rhems show
11-12- Terry Gross. One of the best programs on NPR. I learn so much from her guests
12-2- Think with Kris Boyd (a local show)
2-3 The World with Marco Ormond. I learn about what is going on all over the globe
3-4 All things Considered
4-4:30- Marketplace-- Where I learn about all things financial
4:30-5 All Things Considered wraps up my day


As I work, I keep the radio low, and I keep my ear out of interesting stories. I like the book reviews, and the interesting guests. The politics, while I might not agree, it is still interesting.
The problem is, that by the end of the day--I want to lay in a ball under my desk and start crying. The news is depressing. UHH. I have started only listening to the topical shows that do interviews with authors, chefs, or personalities (i.e. Fresh Air) because by the time the day is over, I leave work feeling guilty that I have a job because there are so many Americans out of work, and I feel like America is spiraling downward and never going to recover.

AHHHH

I can't sit there and listen to the depressing news everyday. I have started to tune into the Dave Ramsey show. It's on the a.m. dial, so it does not come in well. I need more of that on the radio during the day. I need to hear postitive news. I need to hear that our best days are not behind us. I need to hear people being successful, because if we are going to recover from this hard time, then we need people succedding in business.

A Naked Outing

I waited patiently all day for it to get dark. I kept looking at the windows all evening. At 7:40 I turned to P ans said "It's dark."
I even opened the door to show him--but nope--the sun was just setting, and it was not dark enough for him.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity- it was dark, pitch black outside.
I looked at P and said "let's go."
He sighed, got off the couch and started getting ready to go.
As he was getting ready, he looked at me and said--"Why are we doing this again?"
I responded with "You promised to come with me."
He replied with "I need to start asking more questions."
In the dark of night we drove about 1/4 of a mile (not the location I would have chosen, but I went with it.) We scaled the 7 foot fence and found ourselves alone on an empty golf course in the dark.
It was time for P to get naked-as I was already going tribal myself.
Standing under a tree in the dark, P did it! He took of his sandles and joined me.
We went running without shoes--but with our clothes. We ran for about 20 minutes barefoot on the golf course, then we did a couple of build up sprints.
We finished about 9, scaled the 7 foot fence again and went home.

I finished Born to Run, and it inpsired me to give naked running (running barefoot) a try.
The book was so great. I could not put it down. I have already reread a few of the sections again, because it was so dense with information.
I will do a full book review on the blog, but if you have not read it, go out and READ it now!

A Thankful Salute

Some days, words are not enough, and they cannot do justice. There are others who are more eloquent than I, and they have said so much about this day, that has moved me to tears. Just like every other American, I remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing the moment those towers were hit. It was scary, sad, confusing, and frightening. A sad day for me, a life altering day for so many. It was the day of infamy for our generation.


To commemorate today, P and I woke up this morning, and drove and were a part of this crowd.

We were here at this tower. To honor, remember, and to say thank you, in a small, simple way.

We went to watch over 300 firemen from North Texas trek up 110 flights of stairs in the 9/11 Memorial Climb. 343 firemen each wore a picture of one of the firemen who lost their lives at the World Trade Center. One of those 343 was a good friend of ours. He drove 2.5 hours just to do this. As the men and women marched past us in full gear, walking the 55 flights of stairs, twice to go the same distance as those at the World Trade Center, I found myself crying at the sight. There were young men and old, Women, Whites, Blacks, Asians, Hispanics and more. There were wives, kids, parents, and friends.

As the bag pipes played Amazing Grace, and the fire fighters trudged up the stairs, I was so thankful for them, these brave people who put themselves in harms way every day. These are the great ones. These are the strong ones. These are some of the best we have to offer, and they sacrifice for us.

It was a beautiful experience, and one that I will never forget, and hopefully, I will be able to get even more involved in the years to come.

One of the best parts of today, was for the first time in months, I have not heard ANY political fighting. It felt like we were united again. It felt like we loved each other and we loved this country, together. It was a day to remember, to grieve, and to honor those who serve us, died for us, were victims of this terrible attack, and to tell them and their families, We Will Never Forget. Today politics were pushed aside, and for a few hours, it felt like us again. My hope and prayer is that we as a country will use this day to bring us back together and work towards healing the loss from that day, and from the infighting we have inflicted upon ourselves.

The chants of USA at the football games moved me to tears again. The Star Spangled Banner moved me to tears. I love this country and everything she has given to me and to so many others.

I ask that tonight, you hug your family, and say an extra prayer for all of the public servants who give of themselves daily, and you pray for peace and unity.

We will never forget.

On My Book Shelf

I have heard about this book for years, and I was at Whole Foods a few weeks ago and decided to finally bit the bullet and pick it up.

I want to see the documentary about this book, Forks over Knives. I cant find a place that carries it. I am really interested to see how a plant based diet can change our health.

I saw the movie first, which is something I never do. The movie made me laugh and cry, so I just had to pick up the book to see what it was all about.

I cannot put this down. Some friends came to stay with us a few weeks ago and gave us this book as a thank you. I started it on Thursday, and Iam over half way done. It is awesome!!!

This I picked up today at B&N. I love Paris, and I have been aching to go back. Well, the next best thing is to read about it I guess.

It is funny that I have purchased so many books in the past few weeks. Usually, I don't buy books, I check them out from the library. Being new to the city, I have not found the libraries yet, so I have been buying them. Not exactly frugal, and most of my fun money has been dissappearing into the books. I think I need to put a stop to the book buying, and get back to the book borrowing.

What are you reading these days?

Why

Why do I...
great my husband on the phone every time with "What up homey-g-funk-McNasty......
I don't know.

Why did I...
wear a sweater to work today? Because it was the first time in 60 days that it was not over 100 degrees, and I thought that 96 was a tad bit chilly. Yes it is all relative, and no I was not the only woman in a sweater--I promise there were several others.

Why is it that....
when I find change on the ground I pick it up, dance around, and yell- yes yell at my husband "dividends"

Why do I...
think that I have a better voice than Celine?
because I do

Why do I...
think I can flow better than Jay-Z and Snoop?
because I can...

Why am I so freakin cool???........uhhh you dont have to answer that......

365 + 1

A year ago today--
I remember exactly where we were and what we were doing.
This past year has been full for changes, obstacles, and trials.
A year ago I was stressed, worried, tired, and a bit scared of the future.

366 days ago, this was our situation:
We were homeless. We bounced from friends homes, to family houses, to hotels.
We were living in an extended stay "hotel."
We spent Labor Day weekend with family so we would not have to pay for said hotel room for 3 nights.
We lived out of our cars. Things we needed were in bags, baskets, and suitcases.
Everything else was in a storage unit.
I was "promoted" taught different classes to higher levels of kids
P just started a temp job. He went to a few farms, literally knocked on their doors, and told them he knew how to drive a tractor.
P rushed up to his parents house in the middle of the night because his dad had an "episode" and was taken by ambulance to the e.r.
As we lay there at night in the "hotel" we could here people above us having "relations" every 2:30 a.m.--on the dot.

There were 3 things that got me through that time
-The Lord, My husband, and hope
I relied so heavily on the Lord during those times, and he never let me down. It was hard- but he never promised to take me out of it--He just promised to join me in it.

My husband- P was a rock. I am someone who needs stability and order, and our life was lacking greatly in those areas. He was so understanding and patient with me. I think he gave me about 30 hugs a day, just to reassure me that everything was going to be all right.

Hope. I hope and prayed things would change, that they would get better. They did- just slowly.

I know there are others who have suffered so much more that I have. My trials and problems are minuscule compared to what is going on in the world, I know that.

I knew then, just as I know now, I am blessed beyond all imagination. I am loved by God, my family, and my friends.

Through all of that, through this crazy year we have lived in 5 different locations, moved hundreds of miles away from our friends and community, lived apart for 6 months, and now we both have very different jobs than we had before.
Through it all I have learned something--I am stronger than I thought, both physically and mentally. P and I are stronger than I thought. It has been a year of change, or chaos, and of trials, and I am glad to be on the other side of it.