Tuesday, December 3, 2013

My Most Embarrassing Moment

Its Tuesday, after a holiday. We are all depressed that we have to go back to work. We are all feeling fat from too much food. We are all looking at our calendars towards Christmas when we get yet another short week. We are all pretty much using the work day as a recovery time from our feasting and partying.

So, I thought I would share with all you fine folks one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

Picture it, the early 2000's. I am in my senior year of college, and I have finally settled on a major. In 4 years of college, I had 5 declared majors, one of which I left, and then came back to. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life at that point, so I did what any "smart" college kid does, I decided to major in the liberal arts. There don't seem to be many ads in the paper for history majors or philosophy majors yet, I still decided to major in history. I didn't want to major in something so pedestrian like accounting. A major that taught you skills so that you could one day..you know…get paid.

It is the spring semester of my senior year, and I am in the 2nd semester of my senior year thesis class. After months of research and hard work, I am so close to finishing my undergraduate thesis. At this time, I was also taking a feminist history course, and in a wave of feminist fervor, I decided to declare my disgust with modern and historical men, and study the suffrage movement in America. Unfortunately for me, no one in the hiring process cares how much one may know about Elizabeth Cady Stanton and her Declaration of Sentiments. They care more about your ability to cut costs, do an in-depth cost analysis, and make decisions without having to think or write about your feelings.

In a wave of triumph, I turned in my obsessively researched and overtly pompous paper to my professor and breathed a sigh of relief. She would read it, review it, and allow us to make revisions before handing it out to the class for debate and discussion. {On a side note, if I know that one of my papers is going to be read by my peers and the merits of my argument are going to be dissected in front of me, I will have more research and back up than a lawyer arguing before the supreme court. When arguing about historical insignificant events that have little to do with today, I play to win.}

I remember it clearly….it was a Friday afternoon, and I was scheduled to pick up my paper at 3:00. It was a cold and rainy day, and like any good college student, I skipped class because the weather was bad, and stayed in bed playing on my computer and watching Dawson's Creek reruns. I left my apartment at 2:50 still in my pajamas, with my unwashed hair, unbrushed teeth, in a long sleeve t-shirt that had microwaved lasagna stains, slippers, soffe shorts, and no bra. I thought campus would be empty and that I would pick up my paper quickly and return to the comfort of my bed.

I parked illegally, ran into the building, and low and behold, a faculty meeting had just let out, and there stood all my professors chatting, while I, bra-less, smelly, and unkempt stood in the door way of the department office frozen in place. My jaw dropped and my face flooded with color. I felt nothing but embarrassed for how I looked. My professor, the department chair mind you, saw me, and ushered me into her office, where she insisted that I put on her trench coat while we reviewed my paper. 2 hours later, I walked out of her office, in deep deep shame.

Moral of the story, if you are a women, every time you leave the house, have a bra on.

By the way…the braless wonder got an A on that paper and in the class. Boom.

Happy post Thanksgiving friends.

You are up. Please tell me your most embarrassing moment.


Ashten said...

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!! I will have to think about my most embarassing moment...I will get back to ya!

Brooke said...

i routinely take off my sports bra off after a long run to go Christmas shopping. and by routinely i mean so far twice this holiday season. i have no shame. i'm also a 32a, so i'm not sure the bra requirement is directed at me.

Holly @ Run With Holly said...

In college, my boyfriend (not the one who became my husband) and I were both due to receive a really prestigious university award at a special ceremony. His parents came, my parents came. I told everyone when to arrive, and what campus building to come to. Everyone arrived...and the building was empty. Totally empty.

The awards ceremony started 30 minutes earlier, in a different building. We walked in at the very, VERY end. I cannot remember ever wanting to disappear into my shoes so much.

Side note: I had a physiological stress reaction that I'd never had before, and when we finally arrived and sat for the last few minutes, I started shaking so badly I couldn't sit, and I was certain I was going to pass out. My then-just-a-friend (and now-husband) was sitting next to me, and held my hand to help calm me down.