Saturday, March 26, 2011

I Stink

I stink at communication. Really badly. And, whats worse, is I didn't even know how bad I stunk at it.
What is funny about this is, I am a really chatty person. I talk a lot. I am social. But, I really struggle with talking about myself or my feelings. I would rather talk about other people. Statements starting with "I feel..." or "My desire, my wish" I really struggle with that.

I tend to ask a lot of questions--a lot. I am a contextual learner. If I am learning something, I want to know why did this happen, how did it happen, start at the beginning. P can ask me to do something, or get something, and my first question is, why? Why do I need to pick up this from the store. Why do you need me to do this for you. It can come across at times as being defiant, as being stubborn, but I always want to know why are you telling me this, why are you asking me this.
Another thing---I get really uneasy when people ask me questions. It is really weird. I don't like to talk about myself. I don't know if I have always been like this, or if this is new. I honestly have no clue. I think that this is part of the reason I get really nervous about meeting new people. Once I get over the initial nervousness, I am fine, but going into new situations with new people I get nervous. But, its really funny that I get this way because---I AM SO SOCIAL. I just like to be social with my friends that I already know. Its weird.

The whole reason I am writing this post is because P and I had a really long conversation tonight and his response to something I said was "I am glad you finally said that, I just can't believe it has taken 4 years." It was that moment that I realized, I stink at communication.
I have thoughts, and I have opinions, about everything--I just don't tend to voice them, and its weird.
Plus, emotions are really hard for me. I don't cry much, and when I do, I am a disaster. I don't like mushy, I don't like sad, those are emotions that I have (duh) but I don't express them very often--hardly ever. Why? Is this a female thing? Is this a me thing? I like peppy, joyful, happy. That manifests itself is so many areas of my life. The music I like, 90% is upbeat fun music to dance to. The movies I like are funny, upbeat, and positive. The t.v. shows I like are usually sitcoms. The books I gravitate towards are chick lit, that are funny and light.
There is this great quote from the movie Somethings Got to Give. In the movie, Jack Nicholson's character is an older man who casually dates younger women. He ends up falling in love with Diane Keaton, a woman his own age who challenges him in every way. At one point, she asks, "Whats with all the younger girls?" His response, "I just like to travel light."
That line cracks me up, and sometimes, I feel the same way, I just want to travel light. I want to laugh, have fun, and enjoy and celebrate life. I don't think this makes me a hedonist, but sometimes I just like to travel light.
How do you like to travel? (metaphorically, of course)

31 comments:

denise said...

well, funny you should ask. I don't just tear up like so many people I know when they talk about something sad or happy for that matter. Sometimes I feel like I am a "hard" person for that. I loved that movie by the way :)

Brooke said...

i'm a social person too, but i've found that talking about the gut level stuff to most anyone is hard.

i want to be deep and meaningful, but i doubt anyone who knows me would describe me that way.

Serendipity said...

There is a difference between talking and beng social and communicating. I suck at communicating. So does Rambo. We came to this relization after having a super crappy and emotional time in our relationship last year. It made me extremely sad but it was a lesson learned. You will learn how to communicate too. =)
As for traveling, I prefer to travel light. I'm upbeat and cheerful which draws people to me but at the same time I can be a real Debbie Downer. Wah wah wahhhh!

Anonymous said...

discount ativan ativan 1mg - ativan uses treatment

Anonymous said...

diazepam online diazepam pill identifier - buy diazepam tablets online

Anonymous said...

mixing diazepam and lorazepam diazepam over the counter - 70 mg diazepam

Anonymous said...

diazepam without a prescription buy genuine diazepam - diazepam 5mg online

Anonymous said...

cheap generic ativan buy ativan from canada - ativan dosage maximum

Anonymous said...

buy xanax buy alprazolam australia - generic xanax xr

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online buy ativan online uk - ativan sublingual uses

Anonymous said...

buying xanax xanax effects nursing baby - different types xanax pills

Anonymous said...

xanax online buy xanax online no script - xanax mg to overdose

Anonymous said...

buy xanax bars online no prescription buy xanax online united states - xanax 2mg tablets

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan good opiate withdrawal - lethal dose of ativan

Anonymous said...

order ativan generic ativan good brand name - ativan 2mg overdose

Anonymous said...

diazepam overdose diazepam 5mg used for - online apotheke holland diazepam

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online what is xanax used to treat - generic xanax ingredients

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online without prescription long term effects xanax usage - 2 mg xanax effects

Anonymous said...

generic ativan online ativan addiction side effects - buy lorazepam bulk

Anonymous said...

alprazolam no prescription xanax vs ativan - xanax side effects sexually

Anonymous said...

generic ambien people pharmacy ambien - pictures of generic ambien

Anonymous said...

buy valium online overnight delivery much does generic valium cost - valium pills pics

Anonymous said...

buy valium online how do valium pills look like - valium 10 effects

Anonymous said...

generic ambien buy generic ambien - ambien withdrawal melatonin

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien online no prescription cheap - ambien side effects heartburn

Anonymous said...

valium price buy valium with mastercard online - buy valium cheap online

Anonymous said...

cheap generic soma carisoprodol 350 mg expired - side effects of soma carisoprodol tablets

Anonymous said...

generic valium pill identifier what is valium yahoo - emotional side effects valium

Anonymous said...

valium online no prescription buy valium aus - valium side effects

Duplication said...

Very nice. Can you share more details on such options?

Promotional USB Drivers said...

The views given by you for the life and other factors of life have not only been great but have revealed a new outlook