I have this neighbor, S, and she is great. She is funny, smart, and kind. S does not have any family that lives close by, and the family that she does have is not supportive of her at all. She is in her late 40's, divorced several times, and had some pretty rough history. She works hard to keep herself in a lifestyle that she likes.
S has these 2 dogs. She calls them her children. She loves those dogs with every fiber of her being. When the dogs hurt, she hurts. When they whine, its like her world is going to end. She loves them so much. She tells me about all they do together. She tells me they smile at her, they sing for her, and they talk to her. Hmmmm, I have to call bologna on that one, but hey, it each his own right. Who am I to judge? I have a dog and I love him, but I do talk to him like he is a person, but at the end of the day, I realize he is just a dog and not a human.
One of her dogs has cancer. He has a huge tumor growing near his hip, and he is in quite a bit of pain. His legs shake, he has no control over his bladder, and his skin is flaking off. The dog needs to be put down. The vet has told her this, her friends, and her family. But she can't put the dog down. One day she was crying to me in the parking lot (again) and I found myself getting really frustrated with her. She gripes about how she can't sleep at night because she is worried about money and the dog. She has spent thousands of dollars on this dog in the past 3 months. As she cried on my shoulder I found it harder and harder to give her comfort. All I really wanted to do was tell it to her straight, and have a little come to Jesus meeting with her. As she cried, I tried to figure out where my frustration was coming from, and why I had so little compassion.
Finally, I realized that she cannot put her dog down because that is where she finds her acceptance and her comfort. Suddenly, my frustration melted away and I understood her pain. I began to analyze what I would do if I were in her shoes.
I began to ask myself, where do I get my comfort? Where does my acceptance come from? Ideally, I want to say the Lord. I want to say that He is my source of comfort above all else, and that He is the one who I look to.
To be completely honest, I know that I cannot say that without a doubt. I get a lot of my comfort from P, my parents, and my friends. I look to them to fill me up when I am running low. There is nothing wrong with that, but I need my first priority, the first one I go to, the first one I run to to be the Lord. That is my prayer. That I continue to fall more and more in love with God. That He and He alone be the source of my comfort and my joy. For the next few weeks before Easter, this is going to be my prayer and my meditation.
Where do you find comforts from?