Running on Angry.....or pure frustration

You may have noticed the running talk has been pretty slim these past few weeks. Thats because, the running has been, pretty slim in these parts.

Basically, my stupid whore foot was giving me some major problems. I went back to the podiatrist, a different one this time, and she looked, we talked, she did some things to me that hurt so badly that I wanted to call her some names that rhymed with itch, stitch, and witch. But, whore foot is still around, and still hurting, but in a different way. The course of action we are taking this time is a bit...different, I will spare you the deets. It hurts, its painful, but I'm willing to try anything to get rid of this thing.

It still hurts all the time, but its a different kind of hurt right now, and I am really not sure how to describe it. Its just so frustrating that this is on the ball of my foot, so EVERY TIME I TAKE A STEP, it hurts. No matter if I am running or walking, it hurts.

Lately, I have been running less, and cross training more. Doing the elliptical hurts, so I have been riding my bike more, and walking more, and doing more pure barre b/c it seems that I can tolerate that better than the pounding that comes from running.

This afternoon, I was annoyed with my foot, frustrated with work, and wanted to get my sweat on, so I laced up, not expecting much, and hit the road. I worked out this morning, so I told myself just get through 3 miles. It hurts, I am going to be in pain, but just press on and finish, no matter the time.

I feel out of shape right now. Because I have not been running much, I know my fitness is not where I want it to be.

Mile 1: Start out fast, but thats normal, and kept running, and zig zagging around the area, and when I looked down at my watch, I was hovering in the 7:00's. I have not hit 7:00's in quite some time.

Rather than tell you, I'm just going to show you.

Ahh yes, beautiful cheap laminate floors that are covered in dog hair. Ignore that and look at the watch.

Boom. 

I have no clue where that came from. I ran the same 3 miles last week, and I ran it in 27:00 minutes. I got home, nearly heaved my brains out, and stood outside in shock. I highly doubt I could do it again, at this moment, but I will take it.

I feel like running is a lot like life. When we enter into situations with expectations, and they are not met, we beat ourselves up, blame our circumstances, and walk away bitter. But, when we are open, relaxed, and free ourselves from some preconceived notion, we may just be surprised what is in store for us. 

So many times when I start my run, and I don't hit my time on the first mile, I get discouraged, and stop pushing. I stop trying to do better, and I automatically accept defeat, accept failure, and allow myself to swim in the sea of mediocracy. I allow myself to be slightly better than average, rather than sucking it up, pushing through the pain to make myself better. The line between good and great hurts, and to get past that line takes dedication, motivation, and desire. 

In the end, it felt good to push myself. To breath heavily, to sweat buckets, to push through the pain, and realize, I am made to do things that are hard. I am made to conquer. I am made to be strong. 

Show me your strength. How how you pushed yourself physically/mentally/spiritually/emotionally lately?