Monday, February 13, 2012

Jailbait

Happy Valentines day lovelies. I have never been big on the Valentines Day. I really dislike the idea that it takes a special day to show those around you love. I think that you should say and show love to others EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Even so, in honor of Valentines day, I thought that it only be appropriate to discuss a deep, serious, and burning question about your wife, husband, spouse or lover.
Who is more likley to go to jail? You or your significant other?

I have this fear and anxiety about going to prison. Everytime I see a movie with a jail scene, or watch one of those shows about women in jail, it gets my mind-a-racin'.
P and I talk about the prison issue frequently, because I bring it up almost weekly. We have both agreed that out of the two of us, I would probably be the one to do time. In my honest opinion, I think P agrees that I would go to jail because at times, I think he doubts my grasp on reality. I tend to go from 0 to extreem quickly, when it comes to well.....everything. For example, if I dislike my job today, then I tend to think I will dislike my job forever, and it will always be bad. If P and I get into a fight, I tend to think we will never resolve it and we will fight forever.
I am not the greatest driver in the world, and sometimes I fear that I might hit someone and have to go to jail. Don't forget that I run yellow lights.
I can be tought, but I truly think jail would have the power to break me.

P is too good of a person to ever go to jail. He is so nice to everyone, always tells the truth, and he has great moral character. Plus, he is really funny and smart and people tend to like like him, so no one would want to see him suffer in prison.

Me on the other hand? I can be socially awkard and weirdly aggressive, so the police would think I am guilty from the start.
Sometimes if P glances around the room and sees another woman, I look him in the eyes and tell him that I will stab her if he looks at her again. And, I am almost always joking when I say that. Before we were married, I told P that if he ever cheated me, I would pull a Lorena Bobbit and cut his "special appendage" off. But, I didn't say it so nicely. See, weirdly aggressive.

Other times, when I am on the phone, in the middle of a conversation, I will suddenly say, "I've got a bomb in my car," just to see if the FBI is spying on me. From the movies I have come to learn they don't take national security lightly these days, so I should probably stop that.
Jail seems really really scary, and I don't think I would ever want to end up there.

With all of that being said, P I love you, and lets cherish all these Valenties Days before we have to place our hands together on either side of a plexiglass wall.

Who in your relationship is the crazy one? Who would be the most likley to go to jail?

**Please note that 99% of this post is scarcastic, yet true.**

7 comments:

penny pincher said...

O wow you just revealed more material to the every so understanding, mindful and guardian of nature-for all that chose to show negativity w/o a face or name(Coward). Thanks for being transparent, my valentine behind bars.

~Carla~ said...

Definitely hubby...he just "looks" it, Kwim? lol!! ;) I agree, Vday is highly over-rated, I think it's ridiculous that ONE day can make or break a relationship...

Michelle P said...

I would say him. I'm pretty nice to everyone.

And I do not like Valentine's day either

Brooke said...

love this!! :D

jail = me (i'm a hot head)
prison or guantanamo = jay (he's subversive and very distrustful of the government)

Denise said...

you will probably go to jail for failing to pick up dog poo.

Serendipity said...

I so would. I'm a big bag of crazy and Rambo knows it.

- Lesley said...

you and I are a lot alike! I don't like Valentine's either.
I would definitely be the one to go to jail. P sounds a lot like my husband, so he must be a sweetie.
Oh, and the first day went well (: No hands on stuff, yet. Thank you for asking.