Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Fear Week, I am going to do something that makes me nervous

Fear has played way to prominent part in my life for far too long. I can think of examples in my life when I have been paralyzed by fear, or I have made decisions out of fear. Fear of getting hurt, fear of feeling awkward, fear of taking a chance.

 I get my fear from my father. My dad is awesome, and he loved us so much growing up, and I think that because he loved us so much, all he ever wanted to do was protect us. I think that he was so scared that we would get hurt, sick, injured, or even feel some kind of pain, that he tried to shield us. As a result, he was always worried about us, and I think that I watched my dad give into fear for a long time, that I adopted that fear for myself. While my dad has learned to let go and live by faith now, I still struggle with fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of something, anything.

It is funny to me that one of my major weaknesses is fear because I married a man who is fearless. Fear is not something my P struggles with. He looks at challenges head on and attacks them. When he sees me giving into fear or being stopped by indecision, he is that voice whispering softly to go for it, because even if I fall, he is right there behind me to help pick me up, dust me off, and push me to keep going.
Last week, I was sitting on the toilet (TMI???) and as I reached for the toilet paper, I looked at something that I framed a long time ago. It sits on the window sill of my bathroom right next to the Charmin, so I have to look at it every day. (And yes, if you know anything about us, P and I don't change the roll) I might not wash my hair very often, but I sure as heck.....you know what I mean. I framed the cover of a card and I read that quote "Do one thing every day that scares you" on a daily basis.

This week, I am going to look my fear in the face and take the challenge head on. I am moving forward with my dream. I am a good writer, I know this, and I want to do something with writing. This week, I am going to pitch an idea to a local journal for a story idea. I am going to try and get a gig as a freelance writer.
For some people, this is not a big deal. For me, I am scared out of my mind to put myself out there and take a chance, but I am doing it. I am going to reach out to the publication by Friday of this week and pitch my idea.

Fear, I will not give into you. I will not let you hold me back. This week Fear, I am going to kick your trash.

Do you struggle with fear? What do you fear the most? Have you ever been paralyzed by fear?


lesley: the dream tree said...

Good luck. That is so cool! I think you're a great writer and I love your stuff. They will definitely be gaining something great with you.

Denise said...

please let us know how it goes!!

Rachel said...

Wow! Good for you! Can't wait to hear how it goes :) Of course, it doesn't matter how it goes - just that you did it is what matters.

~Carla~ said...

You are inspiring my dear!!! :) I deal with panic & anxiety on an almost daily basis, so feel where you're coming from, and very much relate to your dad. I can't wait to hear what happens!!!

One Family said...

My Dh is like your dad. While it doesn't seem to have affected our daughter - she is pretty fearless, I do see it in my son. Best of luck on conquering your fears and getting that freelance job!

Brooke said...

that's awesome!! :) good luck.

my dad would always do roller coasters with us, but he was scared to let us go out on a balcony of a hotel. now we push the boundaries just because we have fun driving him crazy.