Monday, August 30, 2010


Back to life, back to reality
Back to life, back to reality
Back to life, back to reality
Back to life, back to reality
-En Vogue

Yall remember them right? En Voge--what what, can I get a boo yeah for the early 90's!!!
So here goes. Yesterday I was dreaming, today I am back to reality.

And here she is, this is reality. We move into our new place on September 8th. That day could not get here fast enough. We ended up house sitting for some friends for a week while they were on vacay, and so now, here we are. At Value Place, an extended stay "hotel." For 200 bucks, this bad boy is all ours. Yep, less than 300 square feet and a small full bed, that is home sweet home. A sterile white room, that P has taken to referring to as the box. This is our reality. O how the mighty have fallen. We went from a cute country home on 30 acres, to a small lake front duplex on 160 acres (a temporary home), to a beautiful 1 acre house on a pristine river view, to a house on 1/2 an acre, to this. AHHHH. Seriously, it is so funny. P and I have laughed and laughed about our circumstances. Sometimes while we are in here, I will ask P a questions, and he wont answer me because he says we need to be in the same room to talk, so he will take a half step into the "living area" so that we can resume our conversation. As I said, if it were not so funny, it would be sad. I am also pretty sure that I have smelled weed in the lobby on several occasions. And the other night, (please stop reading here if you are a prude), P was woken up by the sounds of people being "intimate" at about 2 am. Again, if it were not so comical, it would be sad.
Now, let me get to the ammenites. There is no weight room, no pool, no continental breakfast. But for 30 bucks, we can buy a set of dishes to use, and then keep. Or we can buy a coffee pot to use for the week.
We cannot bake, there is no oven, but there are 2 burners that we can use, but again, we did not pay for the dish set, so there is not much cooking going on. Nay, we are dining on cheap mickey mouse paper plates and plastic utensils.
Coming home from work is so sweet. The sounds of latino music coming through the doors, the sounds of people yelling at one another, getting a little high on the "smoke" billowing in the entry way. Yes, home sweet home. But the best part of the whole deal--the encouragement P got upon checking us in reminding us not to keep any valuables in our cars.
If it were not so funny, it would be sad.
Yes, this is reality.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Itch

I have an itch. I have an itch. I have an itch.......TRAVEL. Must travel now. Must travel soon. I want out of the ordinary and I want the EXTRAORDINARY.....NOW.

I don't know what has gotten into me these last few weeks, but I am dreaming of Europe. I am dreaming of going back to Paris. Of hoping on a train and frittering my life and time away in some old, romantic place. I want to eat good food and see beautiful buildings. I want to travel.

This desire is kind of new for me. Before P and I were married I didn't really ever have the desire to travel. I thought it was fun, but I really enjoyed staying home. I enjoyed being in one place, in my comfort zone. But P has changed that. He has shown me how exciting travel can be. He has shown me how enlightening travel can be. And now I am hooked.
I need to get out of Texas. I need to get away from the everyday. I need to experience something different.
Ok, slow down and breath. Just breath for a minute. It is ok. It is not in the cards right now for us. Back to reality. Back to reality. Whoops, sorry, I was typing out my come back home mantra that I have to say to myself every time I start dreaming my life away.
Reality is a different story right now for us. Travel is not going to happen right now. P is looking for a job, and I just started school.
Reality is different for us right now. Stay tuned for an update...It is almost comical...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I had a good reason

I took my first day off in 3 years last Thursday. I hate taking days off for several reasons. First, when it is time to work, it is time to work. Plus I enjoy work, I really do. Second, I get a ton of days off as a teacher so there is always a vacation right around the corner. Third, at my school, my days dont roll over each year, so if you don't take the days off, you get paid for them. Which is awesome.
Well, like I said, last Thursday I took my first day off. It was really weird. I felt super guilty too. I mean, people were at work, kids were in their desks, yet I was not. So crazy.
But my day off had a purpose, I had a reason.... I had an interview!!!
I have been applying for different jobs for a while now. I really like working in education and I want to stay in this industry. I have been applying for jobs at some universities and not getting any responses. So I started off smaller, I began to apply at some jr. colleges, one to be exact. And I got a call, and an interview. It was my first interview in over 3 years now. I was so nervous it was crazy. The job would be an entry level position, but it would give me a chance to get my foot in the door. I would be working in an office as an assistant. It would combine my love of organizing, and task work, plus it would be in the field of education.
The interview went well I thought, but I have not heard anything yet. I think that means that I was not selected for the job. But, it still makes me excited and gives me hope. I stepped out and began to look. I began to think about making a change, and I went for it. I am going to email the lady I interviewed with and see what the status is.
But it is a first step.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Break Down Here

"I'd sure hate to break down here
theres nothin up ahead or in the rear view mirror,
Out in the middle of nowhere known
I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin'
God help me to keep movin some how."
Julie Roberts, singer
That is an old country song that has been stuck in my head for a while. I have had my break down, several of them in fact in the last few weeks. Currently, we are living a nomadic existence waiting for a home. See, we found a place, a new apartment complex closer to my work, so good bye hour+ commute every day, hello 25-30 minutes. I am excited about that. It is just getting into the apartment that is proving to be difficult. We cannot move in until September 8th. So for the past few weeks we have been living out of bags and suitcases at friends houses, and it has been hard for me. One, not having a home, two, it has been hard being on the receiving end of generosity from others, and three, there is so much uncertainty in our lives right now.
P does not have a job right now, and we are living off my salary alone. I got a raise, and so we are covering all of our bills and rent, with a bit left over. At times, the move, the job situation, being separated from P for 2 weeks, it was all just so much. Last week during teacher in service, I just sat in my classroom and sobbed. I mean I cried these big ol' alligator tears. Then the 2nd day P got back, we were sitting there just talking, and again, I just started sobbing. We sat outside in some plastic chairs by the river and he let me cry. He got me a beer, and we just sat and I cried and he listened. He held me, and just listened. He was so kind, patient, and tender, and I think I fell a little more in love with him that afternoon. Being separated from him for 2 weeks was hard on me. I didn't realize how much comfort he brings me. I didn't realize that I needed him as much as I do. I didn't realize that I love him and his presence so much. Just knowing he is in the next room, just sitting next to him on the couch, his presence means so much to me. I didn't realize how much I loved him.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Its over

Summer is officially over--boo.
Now it is off to life and the real world. Well, the real world actually started on Tuesday, but I never got around to posting. Yesterday was the first day of school. It is teacher in-service this week and then classes start next Tuesday. Where did my summer go?
It went to the kitchen. Cooking for 16 hours a day. Insane heat, insane pressure, insane hours, insane work get the picture--but the reality of it is--I loved it. I did. I loved every second of it.
I loved getting to work along side my husband all day. I loved getting to talk, socialize, and spend time with other adults all day long. I loved that my commute to work was 2 minutes and that it didn't even require 4 wheels, just mut and jeff (my feet). I loved the pressure to preform day in and day out. I loved getting the opportunity to serve people. I loved getting to watch 300+ people eat the food that I made for them. I loved the the rush of trying to get the dishes cleaned and put up as fast as possible. I loved it all. And I will miss it.
Could it lead to a career change?? Maybe? One day?
There is a ton of stuff that I could see myself doing. I think it would be great to work in a university. To work on the admin side, would be a dream. I would also really like to work as a financial advisor. I am so passionate about finances (thanks Dave), and it gets me so excited when people ask me about finances. I really like walking through the process with them and laying out the baby steps for them. I could see myself doing so many things besides teaching.
I like teaching, for the most part. There are times when I think that I would rather do something else. I am so task oriented, and teaching is not task oriented. I like sitting at a desk, making a list of things to do, and then just start checking them off. I like casual chatting throughout the day, (to adults that is).
There is a lot to teaching that I enjoy, and there is a lot to teaching that is really difficult for me. There are things that are simply ridiculous, that I feel like teachers should not have to do, nor should they have to put up with.
For now, I am going to continue to pray about my attitude and my class for the year.
Time to get into teacher mode.