Hitting the Brakes

These past few months, I have been researching real estate. I have been looking at home/condos/apartments for sale in our area. I have been researching the cost to build an apartment over the garage to rent out. I have been watching a ton of HGTV (Scientific, I know).

I have been so ready to hit the gas and move forward. I want to move forward, dive into the real estate market, and make some money. I know that real estate has a great return on investment. I know that you can make money on real estate. I know that there are opportunities out there for people with money to invest. 

But, I have also known that if we were to invest in real estate, it would mean taking out a loan. And, I would be lying if I said, I had not at least considered it. 

Did you notice what is missing from above? How about the We.

See, these were plans I was drawing up in my head. I was ready to take my knowledge, my research, and move forward in my direction.

It was not until one day as we were driving around looking at houses, that P said "Babe, I feel like we are going 40 mph, and thats a good speed for us, but it seems like we are suddenly trying to go 70, and I am not sure we are ready for that speed."

That kind of took the wind out of my sails, but it was something I needed to hear. We have been walking along the Dave Ramsey baby steps, and things are going really well. We are on Step 6, paying off the house early.  The great thing about the Dave Ramsey baby steps is that they are small, attainable goals. The negative side to the Dave Ramsey baby steps is that they are small, and often slow moving. 

It really comes down to being content where we are. We ARE doing the right things financially. We ARE moving at a great speed. We ARE making progress on our goals. We ARE living frugally. There are so many things I want for us, but we believe that you have to walk before you can run, and we believe in a set of principals that teach us that "the borrower is slave to the lender." Proverbs 22:7

We worked really hard to get out of debt, to build our emergency fund, and to pay cash for everything we own. The only debt we have is the mortgage, and we are working really hard to knock it out in a few years. 

For me, I really need to look at where we are and where we came from. I need to realize that its a process, and we are working hard to build a strong foundation for tomorrow, and the many tomorrows after that. In finance, some people gamble, and win big, and many others gamble and lose their pants. They play a high risk game, and for every winner there are a dozen losers who wish they would have done it differently. The way we handle our money is not right for everyone, and I am ok with that. I also need to be accepting of where we are, its the tortoise that wins the race. 

That man of mine is wise, and a great partner for me. He listens, lets me dream, lets me fantasize, but then will bring me back to reality.

Have you ever made a risky financial move? How did you fare?

We need your help to solve an argument.

I love my husband (is that even worth saying???), I really do. P is AWESOME. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my protector, my rock, and my accountability partner. He is wonderful.

One thing about P is that if you say something, he takes it at face value, and he will hold you accountable. I will be honest, at times, it is so frustrating to me. But, edification is a process, and he is constantly helping to edify me.

If you remember, one of my new years resolutions was to only take baths on the weekends, in an effort to reduce our water usage.Y'all, I LOVE taking a bath, and I really hate taking showers. There is something so relaxing and comfortaing about laying in a hot tub of water to start  and end my day. I also have really bad circulation, and as a result, my feet are usually freezing, and one of the only ways for me to warm up is to get into a hot bath.

So far, I have been keeping my resolution to only take baths on the weekends. P however, would not agree with that statement. He thinks I am not doing a very good job, because I will turn on the shower, and rather than stand, I will sit in the tub. He will come into the restroom and do checks to see if I am really showering during the week. He has called my showers, SHATHS, or shower baths.

I argue my point that I am indeed taking a shower, not a bath because the water is coming from the shower head, and I have not plugged the drain. I contend that taking a bath is being submerged in water, but by taking a shower and sitting I am not submerged, so I am still actually taking a shower.  BOOM, point made.

P continues to deny that I am actually showering. He thinks because I sit and stay in the tub until the hot water runs out means that I am actually bathing, not showering.

We need imput, we need to end this bitter feud.

Please help us.

Shower or bath? What do you think?

Are you a shower-er or a bather?

I thought they felt bigger

Last week I did something kinda mean.
Scratch that, I did something really mean.

I have been encouraging P to get healthy with me for a while. There has been some push back, but that is not going to deter me. I keep chipping away at it, one day at a time.

Last week P was complaining about his joints hurting. He drives a lot during the day, and sitting in the same position in the car traveling some days 100+ miles running all over town, his joints can get stiff. I suggested he take some fish oil, because it really helps me keep my joints lubricated. As much good as fish oil does my body, it also has some horrible side effect---hello fish burps. Sick.  Because of that, I take my vitamins at night. One night right before bed I was taking my vitamins and P walked by and I handed him a handful of vitamins too.

He looked at all the pills in his hands and asked me what they were. I gave him the break down: 2 fish oil, 1 echinaecea, calcium, and a multi vitamin. He looked at me after I explained what everything was and took them like a champ, one by one. I looked at him grabbed some water and took them all at once like a man.

Repeat said situation again for a few nights in a row.

Finally, a few days later, I looked at P and started laughing. When he asked me what I was laughing at, I stopped with eyes wide and stared at him. When I finally gathered myself together, I looked at him, and said "ok, I have something to confess to you."

P responded "What do you have to tell me?"

I looked at him with guilt all over my face and said, "You know how I have been giving you some vitamins before bed?"

P replied "Yea."

I said " You know the multi that I have given you?"

He looked at me perplexed "Yes."

"Well, the multi is meant for women."

He immediately grabbed his chest with both hands, looked down and said "I thought they felt bigger," and then started laughing with me.

Thank goodness he was not mad, but he has not taken any vitamins since.

Losing My Way

I have to confess something to you, and its something serious, not a Friday funny. Financially, I have lost my way. You know how I listen to Dave Ramsey everyday right? You know how I talk about Dave all the time? I know his principals, I know his teachings to a T, but I have not followed them at all. These past few months, I have gone off the deep end financially. I have spent so much money on so many items. I have fallen hard into the big deep whole of consumerism.

Its funny, because it just kind of snuck up on me. All this spending started with a treat here, a splurge there,  another one off. Each time I would tell myself, just this one time. Each time I would tell myself, this is it, no more splurging. I would tell myself once I have this, I wont want anything else. Once I buy this for our house, it will be complete. I kept giving into the lie. I kept looking for stuff to fill me up when I was bored, mad, happy, excited,or sad.  I kept shopping. All of the money was unbudgeted. 

Do you know the feeling I am talking about? The lie that we hear in our heads of "If I just had _______, then everything would be complete." What do you fill in the blank with? 

These past few months kind of feel like death by a thousand cuts. I have not purchased one thing that has been super extra extravagant, it has been a lot of small trips. I think I have swiped my debt card at Target 100 times in the past 3 months. I am serious about that. 

All this time, as I spent too much money, I always felt bad about it, and I told myself this was the last time. But, it was never the last time. As someone who prides herself on discipline, it is something that I have been severely lacking for the past few months. 

It all stopped yesterday. P was totaling up our receipts from August to see what we spent, and he couldn't even finish because we had swiped our card so many times. There were so many random purchases that he could not tell what they were for. Last night P lovingly confronted me and we had a great discussion about our finances. 

I just got caught in that consumerist hamster wheel. All the money is coming in, but we were not making much progress because of our spending. Now, it was not all me. We ate out a lot, and bought things when we were together, but I defiantly led the pack. I didn't say no to much, and I was so flippant about money. Honestly, it felt like I was about 3 steps left of center. I could see and feel where I needed to be. I could see where my old frugal self had been, but I kept spending and I ignored that voice in my head that told me what I was doing was wrong. 

We are not in financial ruin, nor are we hurting at all, I hope that is clear. But, for very disciplined couple, this has been a spendy summer. I had to make 2 purchases today, a train ticket for the month, and a stop at the bank to pull our fun money. I am handing my debit card over to P for the week. I have our envelopes for food or gas, but we don't need anything. I am putting a freeze on spending this week. 

Honestly, it feels good to get "caught." It feels good to be honest. It felt good to be confronted. 

As I sit here and look around, I see how much I have. I don't need to buy anything else right now. I am content. I have found my way.

What could you fill in the blank with? Are you giving in or holding strong?

Fit for a King

I think I have told ya'll before that I am a pretty active sleeper. Basically, I sleep in the shape of an X in the middle of the bed, and I move and kick, a lot. I am not aware of this as I am asleep, but apparently it is not so fun for P. For the past few years, he has adapted to this by sleeping on the edge of the bed, on his back, with his hands on his chest. Basically, he sleeps like he is in a coffin, and does not move all night.
When I wake up in the morning, he is in the same position, and my arm is usually draped across his face and my leg is kicked onto his stomach. Poor P.

A few weeks ago, we decided to bite the bullet and buy a new bed, a king! Now, we have more than enough room for me to spread out and get as comfortable as I want, and P can actually roll over at night and get comfortable too!!!

The problem that we are finding is that, we chose the mattress in about 20 minutes, now, we cannot decide on a flippin comforter. The past few weeks, I have purchased and returned over 12 comforters to the store. Last night alone, I returned over 400.00 worth of comforters to one store. When I walked in the girls behind the counter looked at me with their eyes wide. I am pretty sure they wanted to curse me out. But I smiled and handed them my receipts.

Picking this comforter has been a huge process and led us to several fights. P basically thinks that I am design deficient. I guess most girls are born with that design gene and can automatically tell what looks good. Apparently, I don't have it. When we have gone shopping for comforters, I automatically pick the brightest most girly patterned comforter. P looks at me, rolls his eyes, and says no. Thinking I am always right, I tend to try and stand my ground, pick a fight, and then one of us, mostly me, sulks around the store and becomes a pretty big pain in the ass. (Mom, its ok, ass is not a cuss word, its in the bible.)
I have pretty good rebound time, so I am usually back at it within 5 minutes after P comes and hugs me and tells me its alright, and feeds me some chocolate.

Long story short, I still have a few hundred dollars in comforters to return this weekend, and I am still not satisfied with what we have.

What size bed do you have? Are you an "active sleeper" like I or do you sleep in one position all night?
Do you have a keen sense of design?

Pillow Talk, second edition

Where: bed

When: last night

Who: Her and Him

Situation: her exhausted and going to bed and the late hour of 9:10. Him, not tired, and messing with her.

Him: come on, fight back, why are you so tired

Her: because I get up so early

Him: stay up come on

Her: I WANT TO GO TO BED

him: hey, no pinching

Her: I'm not pinching you

Him: then what do you call what your doing

Her: it's called pulling out your arm hair, not pinching

Him: stop it

Her: (in a fit of laughter) leave me alone, or I will pee on your side of the bed. I'm not scared to use my urine as a weapon.

Him: (stopping the tickling) I know you would.

 

Where Credit is Due

Sometimes it is so easy to overlook the things that people closest to us do. We see the flaws, or the things we want them to change or do better, do more, do less, or do differently. Yesterday, P and I were discussing Veganism with a friend, and how we are transitioning our lives to a different, healthier lifestyle. As we were talking, I basically threw P under the bus and told our friend how much less meat I eat now, and how I really am working to do more, and that P is coming around to it much more slowly. As we continued to chat and I shared some tips, ideas, and recipes, P joined back in the conversation and commented how different he feels now that he is of dairy. I basically did a double take.

It is true, P is off dairy, and I have not asked him about it nor have I given him much credit for it at all. Over a month ago I was making my grocery list, and I asked P if he needed more milk, and he responded no. I asked again the next week, and P said no again. I think I questioned him a few times, but I didn't think much of it. Rather than boast about it and make a huge deal, P just quietly began to remove dairy from his diet. He didn't make a scene, he didn't tell me, preach at me, or try to convince me to do it, he just did it. That's the difference between P and I. I want to talk about it, convince others that my way is correct, and get credit for doing it. Where I can be loud, boisterous, and judgy, P is quiet, humble, and wants to take action and is not concerned with getting the credit.

As I have thought about this past few days, I have come to realize, it is more than just being off dairy that P does with looking for credit, he does a lot, and I never thank him nor acknowledge it. On the weekends, I do the laundry and deep clean the house. If P is gone, or taking a nap, I make sure to tell him how much I did because he needs to know ho much I do around here, and isn't he grateful for me. I am really good about getting the house cleaned on the weekends. What I am not so great about is keeping it clean during the week. Every day I carry no less than 4 bags with me. A purse, work bag, lunch, and my workout bag. When I get home in the evenings, I dump the bags right in the middle of the floor, and am content to leave them there until the next morning. P comes behind me and picks up my junk and puts it away. Everyday this happens, and never once have I thanked him. Just thinking about it now gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach, realizing how often I fail to say thank you.

That's just how he is, and WHO he is. He spends most of his days looking for opportunities to serve other people and never seeks recognition for the things he does. The longer we are married, the more I realize that I truly married up. He is out of my league and I have no idea what I did to deserve getting such a good husband.

What are some things your loved ones do that you never give them credit for?

The Luckest Man

My P is pretty awesome. He is so kind, he supports me in every thing I want to do. He lets me be my odd, wild, and crazy self. He tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me every single day. I am so grateful for him, and I am thankful that God put him in my life.
I also started thinking, he is really lucky to have me too. I do kind and loving things to him....I mean for him all the time. Yes, I am a precious, gentle jewel, and he gets to have me as his wife. I express my love to him in many ways, but below are a list of his favorites.

I probe him daily. He says he hates it, but I know he loves it.
Sometimes I walk straight up to him and say, BUTTONS, then proceed to push his nipples as hard as I can and laugh.
When he yawns, I blow into his open mouth.
Sometimes when he opens his mouth, I try and fish hook him.
I talk to him about my time in the restroom.
If he is reading the paper, I will come up in front and slap it out of his hands.

Yes, I am a kind and adoring wife, and he is so lucky to have me. From what I have found, men really really like when you do these things to them. Try it out on your man and tell me what loving things he says in response to you. These techniques are sure to add some fire to your marriage.
How do you show your love to your spouse?

Breakdown Here

By nature, I am not a very communicative person. I don't know if I was that way growing up, or if I somehow just evolved into this. Please understand, this does not mean that I am quiet. In fact, if you asked anyone who knows me, they would tell you that I am actually pretty chatty. I talk a lot, but when it comes to things that are personal, I tend to be pretty closed off.
I can chat about things that excite me or that make me happy with ease. What I have a hard time talking about are things that hurt me, scare me, or make me mad. I keep all of those bottled up and they stay there, hidden deep inside. To say that I am emotionally stunted would be an understatement.
When I get emotional, I tend to lock up, and I become awkward. I am not a crier. When I feel tears coming on, I try so hard to fight them off. Imagine my surprise when Monday night rolls around and P and I start talking and all the sudden tears start coming and they just won't stop. Keep in mind, I am not an attractive crier. Once I start crying, all I want to do is curl up in a ball and shove my face into a pillow until it is over. I just want to hide.
P came over to the couch where I was hidden and had to physically uncurl me, and sat on the floor and watched me cry and talked things out with me. There have been some disappointments, realizations, and some trying times lately, and I have never taken the time to deal with them. I just push past it, put it out of my mind, and never taken the time to deal with them. I just put on a happy face and keep it bottled up. P sat there on the floor, stroked my hair while I cried, and held me tight. Once it was finally over, he got me a glass of wine and put on a funny movie I like for me to zone out for a bit before bed.
It is so funny that God gave me the husband he did. As much as we are alike and have the same interests, we are also so incredibly different. Where I am closed off and unexpressive, P hates keeping things bottled up. He wants to talk out problems, get to the root of the issue, and deal with it. If he is mad at me, he will tell me and talk through it. If I am mad at him, I wont admit it, I hold onto it, and end up blowing up, or having a melt down a few months later. I am a black belt at silent warfare and suffering in silence. Yes, emotional maturing is my strong suit--clearly.
P was great in the process. He called me several times throughout the next day to check on me, and even stopped by my office on his lunch break to see that I was ok.
I am ok. Things are hard, life can be sad, but that is what we have a Savior for, and thats why we have people in our lives to help us deal with the hard things and help us carry the load when we get weak.

Wars, Part 3, Toilet Paper Edition

P and I love each other, we really do. Buttt...sometimes we have our "wars." You can find out what I mean here and here.

We are currently in the midst of yet another "war."

This is an empty roll of toilet paper on the roll holder.

This is a full roll of toilet paper on the basket in front of the toilet.

Apparently, P and I don't change the toilet paper roll very often. I never realized it until a few weeks ago when a friend who has been crashing on our couch every few weeks pointed out that he has been the one to change the toilet paper roll every time he comes here. P and I looked at each other and laughed.

Sadly, it is true. I don't know why we wont change the dang toilet paper roll. It is neither hard nor time consuming, but for some reason we wont change the flippin roll on a consistent basis. We are totally content to just leave the roll on the basket.

Because this is my blog, I would like to formerly decree that P will be the official toilet paper roll changer in our house.

Are we the only ones fighting this battle?

A Quote and some updates

-It is only Tuesday, but P and I have tomorrow off to hang out and do some Christmas shopping. I plan/hope to get everything done in 1 day!
-We have currently purchased 2 presents. Yep, just 2.
-We went to the store last night and used 1 coupon for .55 cents off my organic carrots--Watch out TLC Extreme Coupons, I'm comin' for ya.
-The weather stinks around here, I need the SUN!

Finally, I was listening to a local radio show and they were discussing the new book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the wisest Americans by Karl Pillemer, Ph. D.
The quote that stuck out to me the most was in regards to marriage. He said in his research, while interviewing those who have been married for at least 30 years had this piece of advise:

"When you begin to keep score, you are in trouble. Sometimes it is 90%-10%. Sometimes you are the 90%, sometimes you are the 10%."
So true. So very true. I know that in our marriage, I am guilty of this all the time. If I clean the kitchen, I think about it, because, I am a score keeper, and for that I have to say I am sorry to my husband. I don't ever take into account all that he does. I always remember when I am the 90%, but I never like to recognize when I am the 10%.
Thanks for loving me even when I am 10% or less P.

Early Riser

I am an early riser. I always have been. I get it from my mother.
Lately, P has been waking up before me, and it is weird. Most of our married life, I have gotten up first, and waited on him to wake up.

When P gets up before me, he makes his coffee, and then comes and in his soft kind voice, says "Good morning babe" and he scratches my back, or rubs my hair until I wake up. It is so nice, and it is a great way to start the day.


When I wake up 1st, I have been told that I sound like a gorilla in a cage. Allegedly, I am loud. Apparently my idea of quiet and his are 2 different things. When I go to wake him up, I bring him his coffee, smack his ass, and say "Hey get up" then I sing to him. Romantic right? You be the judge.


I had a point----I think it was to show that I am truly a delicate flower. No, that was not it. It was about P getting up early. He now sets his alarm for 5 a.m. and most days, he gets right out of bed. This is the 1st time in our married lives that he has consistently gotten up before me. I usually roll out of bed 15-20 minutes after him.


Some days I hit the gym before work. Other days, I just loaf around and take my time in the mornings. We have also begun taking our dog for a walk in the morning, and that has been a really fun ritual.


Who gets up earlier in your house?

365 + 1

A year ago today--
I remember exactly where we were and what we were doing.
This past year has been full for changes, obstacles, and trials.
A year ago I was stressed, worried, tired, and a bit scared of the future.

366 days ago, this was our situation:
We were homeless. We bounced from friends homes, to family houses, to hotels.
We were living in an extended stay "hotel."
We spent Labor Day weekend with family so we would not have to pay for said hotel room for 3 nights.
We lived out of our cars. Things we needed were in bags, baskets, and suitcases.
Everything else was in a storage unit.
I was "promoted" taught different classes to higher levels of kids
P just started a temp job. He went to a few farms, literally knocked on their doors, and told them he knew how to drive a tractor.
P rushed up to his parents house in the middle of the night because his dad had an "episode" and was taken by ambulance to the e.r.
As we lay there at night in the "hotel" we could here people above us having "relations" every 2:30 a.m.--on the dot.

There were 3 things that got me through that time
-The Lord, My husband, and hope
I relied so heavily on the Lord during those times, and he never let me down. It was hard- but he never promised to take me out of it--He just promised to join me in it.

My husband- P was a rock. I am someone who needs stability and order, and our life was lacking greatly in those areas. He was so understanding and patient with me. I think he gave me about 30 hugs a day, just to reassure me that everything was going to be all right.

Hope. I hope and prayed things would change, that they would get better. They did- just slowly.

I know there are others who have suffered so much more that I have. My trials and problems are minuscule compared to what is going on in the world, I know that.

I knew then, just as I know now, I am blessed beyond all imagination. I am loved by God, my family, and my friends.

Through all of that, through this crazy year we have lived in 5 different locations, moved hundreds of miles away from our friends and community, lived apart for 6 months, and now we both have very different jobs than we had before.
Through it all I have learned something--I am stronger than I thought, both physically and mentally. P and I are stronger than I thought. It has been a year of change, or chaos, and of trials, and I am glad to be on the other side of it.

Fight Face

Fight Face- a hard shelled face, stubborn, jerky, bratty, emotionally walled, distant, unaviliable, and obsninant.
I have had my fight face on for the past few weeks. The weekend that we moved up to Dallas, P and I had a great weekend, we were open, vulnerable, and completly honest with each other. It was amazing. But, somehow, after all of that tearing down of walls, and being open and honest, I put the walls right back up. I have been really argumentative the past few days/years/ all of my life. When I feel I am not being heard, or listened to, or my adgenda is being pushed to the side continually, I will put up one hell of a fight. I will put up a fight in really small ways. For example, I will get into an argument with the hubs at Blockbuster in the middle of the day about what movie to rent, and when the store clerk comes over the help us decide, and he sides with the hubs, I will continue to be pissed off for about 2 hours longer. (Why not rent 2 movies you ask? Well, Blockbuster has a free movie deal going on for the month of June, and I am too cheap to spend 2.99 to rent a second movie, and would rather wait until the next day to get the movie.)
Anywho, I am going to make an effort to have my fight face on less and be open and vulnerable more. Lets see how that goes.

The Longest Year

It has begun, the longest year, or half year, maybe, hopefully.
Today P "relocated" to Fort Worth, TX to live with his parents for the next 6 months to a year. He recently accepted a position at a new company based out of Dallas, and he needs to go through training, and when he is finished, he will be opening up a new branch of the company. The problem is Fort Worth is 5 hours away from here, and P is there, I am here. We decided to do this for several reasons. Reason one, P and I believe in keeping our commitments, and I made a commitment to finish teaching until May, and I would not feel right breaking my contract. Reason two, financially this is going to be really great for us. P has not had a "normal" job for about 9 months, so this will really help us make headway into our financial goals.
I know we are doing this for us, to help us cement our foundation for our future, and I know we are doing this for P. He had the option of opening the branch straight away, and just learning as he went, but he has never had the opportunity to be trained by someone this way, and it is something that will hopefully pay off in the long run. But......
I will just come out and say it, this sucks.
We dated long distance while I was in grad school, except I was up there, and he was down here. And, of all the husbands I have had, he is my favorite one by far (just kidding, there has only been one).
It is hard already. The day has been filled with goodbye's, tears, and an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Walking around here, I look for his things, but so many of them are gone. The closet looks so empty because he took most of his clothes, his shoes are not by the door, his wallet is not on the counter, and most importantly he is not here on the couch watching Sunday night football with me.
I will say it again, this sucks.
I know so many marriages go through harder things than this. Military wives can go years without seeing their husbands, who are fighting in harms way on another continent. Mine is a few hours away living with his parents, but its still so hard.

Get Ready

I know that it is a bit early for New Year resolutions, but it is not to early for reflection. The past few weeks I have spent a lot of time evaluating the past 300+ days, and they have been full of changes, changes, changes. As someone who hates change, you would have thought I hated this year. P lost his job, we moved, we bought a new car, we moved again, were homeless for over a month (spent several weeks home hopping this summer, and 10 days in a "hotel", a few days with family, and then into yet another hotel), my best friend moved 3 hours away, I was promoted and changed positions at work. Its been a crazy year.

Coming out of it, I feel stronger. Did I like all of this change? No. But this year has really tested me, tested my marriage, and coming out on the other side feels good. To know that not only am I stronger, but P and I are stronger than ever is awesome. Now it feels like its time to rest, and enjoy where we are.

Except, there are more changes coming. It was almost a year ago that P's company announced they were closing their doors. He stayed on for a time to help close things out, and help tie up some loose ends. He subbed at my school for 9 weeks at a P.E. teacher, we both took seasonal jobs as cooks for 3 months this summer, and then he found work driving tractors for some farmers. He had a couple of job leads here and there, and a few phone calls, and interviews, but nothing panned out.

Then about a month ago P had 2 interviews, and 2 job offers! After months of nothing, 2 offers! We prayed about what to do, and then made the decision on which job for P to take. He was so excited about one of the job offers, and it is a position that will suit him perfectly; its almost like this job was created just for him.

Here's where the changes start. We will be moving again. On the bright side, we will be moving to a city we love, and have talked about moving to for some time now, Austin!! But in order to get there, P had the option to start in Austin right away building this branch of the company from the ground up, or he could go to training for 6 months to a year and be taught by the company president how to do the job. P and I decided it would be best to do training. However, he has to train in Dallas, which is 4.5 hours away.

In January P will be moving in with his parents who live in Fort Worth during the training. And I will be here. Finishing out the school year. In a month exactly I will be on my own for at least 6 months. Plus, there will be be move to Austin. We are not sure when the move will happen.

So a year of changes, ends up being combined with another year of changes.

I assure you that I will be posting more about this in the upcoming months, but that is the state of things right now.

I am spending my time enjoying P and really trying to soak in the moments we have together, before January.

Ch-ch-ch-Changes, part 1

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Turn and face the strain

ch-ch changes

--By David Bowie

I have been holding off writing this for a while now. I think because once I get it written, through pen and paper in my journal, or on my blog here, it will become real to me. Lets start and the beginning shall we.

In January, P got word that the organization he worked for, (a non profit) would be shutting its doors. It was a long time coming and in the end due to several reasons, the company closed. P stayed with the company part time until the end of February, beginning of March, closing things down, and trying to help sell the property. While he was working part time he signed up to sub at my school. Eventually, there was not enough work any more, so he received his last severance check, and signed on to be a long term sub at my school. The p.e. teacher went on maternity leave, so P has taken her place this past month, and he will continue to do so until mid May.

After leaving his former company, P and I had a few house keeping issues that we had to work through. Our income was going down, and then our expenses were going way up. First, his company provided him with a vehicle, cell phone, and Internet card. For the past year we have not had to pay for any of those things, which was very nice. His boss offered to sell us the vehicle, and a very good price. We decided to buy the car, and we worked out a payment plan. After mulling it over for 2 weeks, I realized that we were in debt, a place that we never ever wanted to be in again. P and I talked and we kept going back to "The borrower is slave to the lender" Proverbs, 7:10. We don't want to be any ones slave every again. We dipped into our efund and took out a major portion to pay full price for the car. No debt, smaller efund that needs to be replenished, and a temporary job for P. But we are now the owners of a 2008 dodge durango, that has been fully paid for. As of a week ago that is where we stood.

Let me back track now. About 3 weeks ago P and I drove to Colorado for a networking opportunity. P had a phone interview that went extremely well, however he was not offered the position due to timing, and the organization decided to hire in house. One of the directors invited P and I to Colorado for a little face time and to meet with some of the other directors. We met with all of them, and then we left. No job came about as a result of the trip. We had not been holding our breaths or hoping for an offer. On the drive home, a former colleague of P's called and asked us a question, which leads us to where we are now.

P used to work for a Christian Sports Camp.(That is where we met. I was working as a councilor during the summer while in college, and P was on full time staff) He was the director of the off season program which operates from August-May, offering retreats on the camp property. The camp has 2 locations, one for younger kids, and a second more secluded property high school students. Our 2nd summer we were stationed out at the high school camp where I ran the camp store, and P was the kitchen director. Basically he prepared 3 meals a day for 300+ people for 3 months. The camp is pretty remote (about an hour and 15 minutes from our house), and they have some housing for married couples that come out to help run camp, so we packed up some clothes and lived out there for 3 months. Later that year P ended up leaving the camp and taking a job with a new organization.

The phone call that we received was from a man, M, asking if P and I would like to come out and cook for the summer again. Initially our answer was No. No.No, but thanks. P and I have been talking what to do about his job situation, about the summer with only 1 income, and we were kind of at a stand still. Finally last Monday, we came to the conclusion that we would be going back out to camp. We decided to go back for several reasons, and one of the big reasons is that if we went out to camp, we would move out of our house in order to save money on rent and bills. Plus, we would both be making additional income, and both of those factors will help us get our efund fully funded by August. And here is where the changes start:

- we are moving out of our house

- we have to have everything packed up and moved out in 6 weeks time

- we don't know where we will be living come August

- we don't know what P will be doing come August

So there you go. Thats the story. More to come soon.

15 hours

We woke up this morning to the alarm going off at 3:30 A.M. Quickly we got up and brushed our teeth, washed our faces, and jumped in the car. 15 hours later, we have reached our destination stop 1. We are in Colorado for 3 days. A little bit of whirl wind tour of the state if you will. I am on spring break this week and P had an opportunity come up in Colorado, a chance to network with some people he has been keen to meet. So here we are. And I must say I was not thrilled with the prospect of spending 30+ hours in the car on my week off. You see, I hate to drive, I really do. My commute to work is right at 100 miles round trip every single day. My carpool friends and I figured out that we spend upwards of more than 24+ days a school year commuting to work. Thus, my disdain for being in the car. Anyways, when this opportunity came up, I was ready to kiss P on the cheek, say adios, and spend a luxurious week doing nothing. Just sleeping in, cleaning my house, playing with my dog, and reading by the river in the balmy 80 degree weather we are currently experiencing here in TX. But, I told P if he asked me to go, that I would go. Well, he asked and I said yes. And I have spent the last two weeks ticked off about how I would spend my spring break. Trust me, I can hold a grudge like no one else. But I gave P my word, and so I stuck to it, I have just not had a happy heart in the process. Due to the drive, we have had plenty of time to talk and I felt convicted so I asked P for forgiveness for my bad attitude and for being angry with him for asking. He graciously forgave me, and has spent the last 15 hours doing his best to entertain me and keep me occupied. This day has been long, but P stayed super positive, and even appeased me while I was being a pouty brat, because he knows how hard this is for me. So tomorrow we hop in the car again, drive another few hours, spend some time with some folks until Tuesday, hop in the car again on Weds and drive to another location. Spend a few hours there, then hit the road home.
Now I plan on working out and remaining on my feet until bed time.
AHHH

And thanks P for your patience with me.

My Cajun Birthday

My name on P's caller id is Bayou Queen-- because my family is Cajun French, and we come from Louisiana.

My grandma, this sweet little old lady-- speaks broken English in her Cajun accent. Her brother, my great uncle only speaks Cajun. He still lives on the farm in the same house that he grew up in, a small farming community outside of Lafayette, LA. It is so funny to hear my grandma talk to her baby brother in French. They just rattle on and on. I love hearing that sound, and I will miss it when she is gone.
Anywho--I am getting off topic. Yesterday I turned 28--yikes. And P spoiled me on my birthday with a Cajun inspired day. I got a ton of cards, phone calls, and texts, and facebook messages from my friends who are dispersed all over the country. I have been wanting a Who Dat shirt for quite some time, and P got me one! It is awesome--but it does not fit--so we are exchanging it for another one. Then P got me this Jazz Festival painting. There were only 10,000 made that year and P found my favorite one and had it framed for me.

The best part was the small surprise get together that P planned for me. I like parties, but not for me. I feel awkward when I am the center of attention. At 3:30 my bff picked me up and took me to the movies--saw Dear John--it was awesome (book is better by the way) then when we finished I got into the car, and she blind folded me, drove like a maniac all over town to throw me off the track, then took me to my favorite place. She parked opened the door and led me into my house where the Who Dat song was blaring on the speakers, homade hot shrimp and chicken gumbo was simmering on the stove, and the poster was hanging on my wall. Plus, P had a king cake delivered from Louisiana, so we munched on that for desert and it was delish! Then some of my favorite people in the world popped out of hiding and I was surrounded by the people that I love the most. It was so much fun. I felt so special, so loved, and my tank was totally over flowing. The gumbo tasted just like my grandma's, and the scent was still lingering in the air when I woke this morning. It was such a great day, and I am so blessed to have a husband who spoiles me so much. Thank you P for all you did. I love you. Such wonderful memories.

Wars (Part 2): Toaster Edition

Round number two, here we go. We have had fan wars, there is most defiantly cover wars (blog to come), and now it is onto toaster wars. P and I just got a toaster from my parents for Christmas. Yes, we went over 2 years without a toaster, and we were just fine. P had been wanting one for a while, but we don't eat a ton of bread, so I always asked what is the point? Anyways, we got one, set it in our kitchen and it works great. It is nice to have a warm piece of toast with eggs in the morning.

However, P and I like our toast differently. He likes his mega toasted, too toasted in my opinion. Toasted to the point that it is dry, flaky, and scrapes the top of your mouth. It is akin to something like a charred, black brick that leaves crumbs every where. I on the other hand, like it lightly toasted with just a minimal amount of crunch. I like food with a softer texture, rather than take a bit out of something and have all moisture suddenly depleted from my mouth. I like to think of this type of toast as an A bomb that explodes in my mouth. It explodes, destroys everything in sight, then leaves the area as a dry, uninhabitable wasteland, that can never return to its former post traumatic, apocalyptic, state.

Anywho, the dial on our toaster gets quite a workout. You have no idea how disturbing it is wake up, pop in a piece of toast, then go about my morning only to smell the putrid scent dying grains coming from my kitchen. So just as the fans continue to go off and on several times a day, the toaster dial continues to run the gauntlet from one extreme to another.