Saturday, September 26, 2009

Marathon Update

First, thank you all so much for your kind words and comments. It was so great to get so much encouragement from y'all. I really do appreciate your kind words.

Then, one of the commenter's, Cammie over at Red Gate Gardens asked me if I had been running, and I realized that its been awhile since I shared.

The marathon training is going great. Its hard but great. Today I ran 18 miles and I felt great until the last 3 miles. I really had to push myself to keep going, I did, and I feel so great now that its over and I don't have another long run for 7 days! YES! The marathon is getting close, its about a month and a half away, so its coming up quick. About 3 weeks ago, I felt a strain in my calf, and I was in a lot of pain, so I got a massage, took the week off, and have been better ever since. I really have focused a lot more on stretching both before and after my runs to prevent injury. I need to pick up my yoga again, but time is still an issue, so I will fit it in if I can.

These super long runs really wear me out, and usually when I get back on Saturdays I am so tired for the rest of the day. But, despite that fatigue, I love it. I love running. I love my long Saturday morning runs. Each week, I get the chance to push myself further and further. Even though it hurts, it reminds me that I am still alive. It forces me to dig deep, reach down and search for strength when I feel like I am tapped out, and keep going. It reminds me that I am strong. It reminds me that I am alive, vibrant, and still kicking.
I played soccer in college at a division 1 school, and I am often asked what I miss about it. My answer tends to surprise people, but its always the same. I miss getting hit and pushed. Seriously, there is something about it that made me feel alive. I had to push past the hurt, and keep going, and training has reminded me of that. It has reminded me that I can always go more, go harder, go faster. I can.
Pushing to the end of myself has had more than just physical rewards, it has had mental, emotional, and spiritual ones as well. I run in a new subdivision that is being built about a mile from here, its on over 500+ acres. All the streets are paved, but there are less than 30 houses out there. When I run it is pitch black most of the time, and I get to run up and down these rolling hills, and I get to watch the sun come up, and set the sky ablaze. It is then that I turn off my ipod and just run into the sun rise. The sky is a beautiful backdrop for the trees, and deer that run all around the property. Its a time where I remember who made that sunrise, who made this beautiful earth, and I just thank God that for all he has done for me.

This marathon training has taught me so much, and I am so glad I am learning and growing in this new experience. I will end with a great quote from Lance Armstrong about riding while he had cancer that I get a lot of inspiration from.
Cycling is so hard, the suffering is so intense, that its absolutely cleansing. You can go out there with the weight of the world on your shoulders, and after a six hour ride at a high pain threshold, you feel at peace. The pain is so deep and strong that a curtain descends over your brain. At least for a while you have a kind of hall pass, and dont have to brood over your problems; you can shut everything else out, because the effort and subsequent fatigue are absolute.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I am not superwoman

I cried last night. I was on the verge of tears this morning, and it was not even 7:30. I am not talking one glistening tear that rolls down your cheek. I am talking monster tears, the kind that fall straight to you lap like rain drops. It is really unlike me to cry. I don't cry easily, and last night I just broke down. There is a ton going on at school and I am feeling overwhelmed. I have a ton of tasks that have to get done, yet I don't have the time to do them. These are things that have to be done at school because our administration does not allow us to access our computers from home. If I could get this work done at home it would be no problem, but unfortunately, I can't. Plus, our administration has been adding new tasks for us to complete almost on a daily basis. I have to find some large block of time during the day to sit down and do this work, but as a teacher, I don't really have that luxury. I don't have large chunks of time where I can zone out and stare at a computer. I have 25 kids to manage every hour. Plus, starting next week I wont have my conference for 2 weeks because of meetings so that is even more of the time that I had to get work done taken away. Add into the fact that I do tutoring before school, and I have coaching after school, there is almost no time.
It is so hard for me because I am so task oriented, and I want to get things done quickly and efficiently. When I can't get them done, it really starts to eat away at me, and it sometimes seems like that is the only thing that I can focus on, the work that I have not done. I am so frustrated because our plates are so full already, and it keeps piling on. And, due to the work load, I feel I have been neglecting my students, which makes me feel horrible. My only option right now is to give them seat work, and keep them quiet while I get my stuff done. I spoke with my principal today and she simply said she knew it was a lot, but it had to be done. So today I am working as fast and efficiently as I can to get things marked off my list so I can get back to my job, teaching.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Arrested by your Truth

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems,
Forgiven I´m alive, restored set free.
Your Majesty resides inside of me,
Forever I believe, forever I believe.
Arrested by your truth and righteousness,
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.
Convicted by your spirit,
led by your word,
Your love will never fail,
your love will never fail.´
Cause I know you gave the world
Your only son for us
To know your name
To live within the saviours love
and He took my place
Knowing He´d be crucified
And You loved, You loved
A people undeserving!
Hillsong United
We sang this song in chapel today. The sound of 125 kids singing this keeps ringing in my ears and echoing in my heart.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Its back...finally

Ladies, its here, finally. After months of anticipation, it has finally returned, and yes I agree with the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I was practically giddy last week when it made its return. It is here, and the next few months will be filled with hours of enjoyment. It is perhaps one of the the most stunning, artistic, and intense displays of human achievement. Its football season, finally! It seems like years since the bowl games and I have been craving football season. For me, there is nothing better than working out early Saturday morning, running some errands, then firing up the grill, having friends over, and sitting on my couch for the rest of the night to watch game after game. Ahhh, pure bliss.
College football is awesome! It is the epitome of sports for me. I like it so much because they are competing at the highest level, yet they have not become jaded by the glitz and glamour that comes with playing in the NFL. They play as a team and they play because they love the game. They are not playing for money (ok some are doing that illegally, but still), they are playing because this game has given them opportunities that might have otherwise not come up. They are playing for their school and their team, and they are playing with a passion that is driven by love of the game, not the endorsement or shoe deal.
These kids have just four short years in that environment. It is hard, confusing, fun, enlightening, scary, and thrilling all at the same time.
Tonight P and I just watched ND get beat by Michigan, and now we are watching Ohio play USC.
So fun!!
If you don't like football or have questions just ask, I will be more than happy to answer.
Happy football season everyone.
By the way, my team is LSU. They are big, fast, gutsy, and aggressive. Geaux Tigers.

Monday, September 7, 2009

My True Self

Today I had a conversation with my true self.
She asked me why I had abandoned her,
why I had ignored all her constant advice.
And then she reminded me of all the things I had forgotten.
And never once did she say
"I told you so."
That is a quote from the cover of my new journal. P's mom, sister, and our nieces came into town and we were shopping in the historic district and I saw this beautiful journal with that quote on it and I simply had to buy it. It is beautiful, and the quote reminds me of one of the promises that I made to myself this year. In one of my favorite posts (So much fun I recounted a time when I was younger and life was so different. I promised myself that I would remember that girl. I would hold onto her, love her, and embrace her. I can do that by not letting the weight of the world get me down. I can do that by loving my friends, and cherishing them and the time we have together. I can do that by turning off the t.v. and saying yes to experiences more often.
I am starting to find her again.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Fire and Rain

The past few weeks I have seen both fire and rain. About a month ago their was a fire less than 1/2 a mile from our house. It started across the road, hopped the gravel road, then set blaze to several properties around us. Thankfully, the fire somehow missed us. The fire fighters were great and had it under control quickly. It was a little scary to drive down our road and have fire trucks sitting in the middle of the street. As I drove down, I saw smoke everywhere and I had to ask a reporter from the paper who was snapping shots to get details. Thankfully no one was hurt and the fire was put out safely.

And, last week it rained 3 times in 1 week. WOW. That is huge for us this time of year. We have not had rain in months. After more than 50 days of 100 degrees or higher it was like welcoming an old friend. While it was never a major down pour, we welcome anything we can get. We are in the middle of a drought and we are on water restrictions. We are on a well here, but we have heard of homes a few miles down the road who have had their wells dry up. So the rain, no matter how little it was both welcome and needed. It was great to see the lightning and hearing the thunder, and getting to fall asleep to the rain falling on the roof was a cherished sound, that basically rocked me to sleep.