Cutting Myself Some Slack

Running.

She she is fickle mistress, who giveth and taketh away.

These past few weeks, I have been focusing on my running. I have been increasing my mileage, while still continuing to strength train. I have been constantly lifting for the past six weeks now, and I have really seen a difference. I have noticed that I am tightening up in some areas, but I continue to feel stronger as I run. Turns out, all those experts were right. #Whodathunkit??

This past week, I put 21 miles under my legs, with a plan to do 12 on Saturday.

I woke up around 5:00AM on Saturday, and nothing inside me wanted to get out of bed and workout. I ALWAYS want to get out of bed and workout. Rather than give into the siren song of sleep, I got up, did my bathroom, play with dogs, water, more bathroom routine, and headed out the door.

It was one of those runs that was simply hard. I knew from the first step that I was going to have to slug my way through it. It did not feel good. It did not make me happy. It was a mental battle from the start. All I wanted to do was go back to bed, and then binge on donuts.

Again, I was ready to quit before I even reached the first mile, but I knew I needed to push my way through. For some reason, my body is very slow to warm up to the run. It takes me a good three miles before I feel like my legs are awake and ready to work. I kept telling myself to just get past the third mile, and things would change.

Mile 3 came and went and nothing magic happened. It just didn't click. I managed to power through 8 miles. A little after mile 8, I just quit. I knew that I could not mentally or physically handle 4 more miles.

When I finished and began to make my way home, the mental demons starting flowing. I kept trying to combat it by telling myself I had done a very hard and fast 5 miler the day before. I reminded myself that I lifted less than 24 hours before, including doing squats, which explained the leg fatigue. I reminded myself that I didn't fuel properly, so it was understandable that the run was a struggle.

Even with all those variables, for some reason, it didn't matter. I kept telling myself I was a loser, and that I was mentally weak. I was so disappointed in myself that I allowed myself to quit.

I finally made my way home, and P was standing in the yard with the dogs, and he could tell from the look on my face that I was disappointed. I told him about the run, and his response was "You are not superwoman, cut yourself some slack."

It took a while, but I realized that just because one run didn't go as planned didn't mean anything. There is an ebb and flow to running, and some days you just don't have it.

The good news, there is always tomorrow.

A few hours later, I made peace with my run, ate 3 sandwiches, and gave myself a stern talking to. Accept your defeats, accept your shortcomings, and gear up for the next run.

Next time, game on.

Can anyone relate? Do you tend to be harder on yourself that others are on you, or you are on others? How do you bounce back?

The Run I Needed

There are those runs that are hard, and you just have to plow your way through them.  When every step feels heavy, and the seconds tick by slowly, and you just want to quit. 

Via Pinterest

WELL I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT RUN TODAY! Last night, it happened. That magical run when everything happens perfectly, that run that gives you the push you need to get through all the bad runs. The running experience that makes you grin ear to ear while you are out on the road like an idiot. A run that is so hard, but feels so good.  That run that reminds you of why you run.

This year, running has been painful in so many ways. From my foot problems, to IT band issues, to running in 100+ degree weather, its been my least favorite year for running. As a result, I have not signed up for any races, I haven't push myself, and my entire year as felt uninspired. P has even noticed it. He said "I feel like you are running just to mark it off your check list." Its true, that exactly what I have been doing. 

But, last night, was amazing. I set out for the run, and I had some pretty low expectations. I had a tempo run on schedule, and I my expectations were low. Right before I set out for my run, I realized I left my Garmin at the office. So I would have to run by feel, and not by the numbers. I felt comfortable, and the first 20 minute warm up flew by really quickly. Once I got to the middle stage of my run, the tempo phase, I started to push a bit harder. I have no idea what my pace was, but it felt fast. I needed to cover 20 minutes as that speed, so I made up my mind to embrace the pain, and went with it. I checked my watch a few times, and it seems as if the minutes were flying by. I felt like I was flying. The last two minutes of the tempo phase came up, and I decided that I felt so good that I was going to keep pushing, and really open up my stride. I was running hard, I was running fast, and I feel like the last 2 minutes I was probably hitting low 7:00's. 

Once my run was finished, I was actually bummed. I wanted to keep running, to keep pushing, to savor every step, because for me, runs like that are few and far between. As soon as I finished, I stood outside, and the endorphins came a flooding into my brain. I bounced in the house, and was a chatter box, and I kept walking around the house like an idiot. I think when I finally went to bed, I had a huge smile on my face because of this one magical run. 

How's your running? Any races on the calendar? How do you power through the slumps? What keeps you motivated?

I don't get it.

Sometimes, as a runner, I just want to say “What the hell.” Seriously.  You other runners out there, please tell me you know what I mean.

I don’t understand how Saturday morning, I set out to do some speed work, with 5 miles on the docket. I was aiming to hit 8:15’s and under, that didn’t happen. I was hitting 9:00, and it felt like I was running through mud. It was one of those runs where you have run ½ a mile, but it feels like you have already been out there for 3 miles. I was miserable. I kept telling myself to just get through it. Just push. This is whats called a character building run.

I finished, it was not pretty, and I wanted to kick character in the trash. Saturday’s run was one of those that really hurt your confidence, and make you doubt what you are doing. I went through the whole process after wards of questioning my ability and desire to run.

Sunday I did a long slow recovery run. Although, given Saturday’s disaster, I am not sure what I was recovering from. But, I went out did about 7 gloriously slow miles. I was out really early and had plenty of bikers and runners on the road to keep me company.

Then, Monday’s run. I didn’t run Monday morning, so I had to hit the road Monday afternoon. I grabbed some water, did my I have to pee 26 thousand times before I started running,  and then I stepped outside at 5:30 and it was HOT. Triple digits hot. Stuipd hot. High humidity hot. I walked a quarter mile for a warm up, and was drenched. I did not have high hopes for this run. Because I am trying to PR in the 5K distance this summer, I only had 3 miles on tap. I told myself just get through the miles because they are going to be hot, and really hard.

Before I knew it, I breezed through the 1^st mile, and I managed to bang it out in 7:30. That 7:30 felt like I was running a 9:00 minute mile. I felt comfortable and in control, I didn’t feel as if I was exerting myself too hard. It felt comfortable. Of course, I saw this, smiled for a second, freaked, and forced myself to slow down, because I’m all mental like that. For some reason, I fear the 7:00’s.

I need to stop running by my watch all the time, and judge my runs by how my body feels, and my exertion levels.

And this is where the “WHAT THE HELL??????” comes into play? How is it that one run can be so hard, and mentally destructive, and the next run is gloriously fun? Running is an evil seductress who toys with our hearts and emotions.  She is horrible to us, treats us badly, and right when we turn away and are willing to throw in the towel, she offers us a treat, a taste of goodness, and we fall right back into her trap.

Of course, now I am psyched to do some speed work this afternoon. 2 miles warm up, 9-200’s, 2 mile cool down.

How have your run’s been lately? Good, bad, blah? How do you over come mental battles?

Thoughts from my morning run

Normally, I run the same route every morning. I run on the street around my neighborhood, and rarely venture off course. This morning, as the sun began to rise at 5:45 and I was doing my warm up, I decided to run around the local park. Normally, stay away from the park in the mornings because its dark, and I have told myself that criminals hide out in the park in the dark. Today, it was pretty sunny, and I figured all the boogie men went home to rest, so I felt I would be safe.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order:

My foot hurts.

Wow, that woman is in her 60's at least, and she is running faster than I do.

I really hope that I don't have to use my phone to call P, my mom, and 911 if someone attacks me.

I guess I should call 911 if someone attacks me 1st, then call P.

If a man attacks me, I will kick him in the groin.

What do I do if a woman attacks me?

Why am I breathing so heavily already?

This sucks, I can't do it.

Just stop.

Don't stop.

I wanna stop.

If you stop now, you will bring shame to yourself, and your entire family.

Wow, Al, that was kind of an intense thought.

Get to the next light post, and then you can stop.

I want pancakes.

I should have worn my compression socks, they make me look cool.

Why is that lady staring at me?

Finally stopped, and chugged water. Lap 1, done.

Ok, this lap, I will do the lower loop, not the upper loop.

Do the upper loop, its longer.

I am just going to do the lower loop, its shorter.

If I don't do the upper loop, does that make me a roody-poo candy ass?

Yes.

Just turned right, doing the lower loop.

I'm such a loser.

Just one more of the speed miles to go. I only have to run on this exact spot one more time.

If I cut through the grass on the corners, it will be shorter.

Why did I cut through the grass, now my shoes are wet.

Pain is temporary, pride is forever, right?

At this point, I would just lose the pain, screw pride.

Then I stopped midway through my second speed lap of the park. I walked back to my water bottle, took a swig, and walked home.

This mornings run was not a success, it was pretty much a failure. I'm ok with it thought, because there is always tomorrow.

What do you think about on your runs? Do you have mental battles?

How Stella's getting her run back

Yea, I just called myself Stella.

Running these past 2 weeks have been amazing. Coincidentally, two weeks ago, I started using Castor oil on my foot. These past two weeks, the pain in my foot has subsided dramatically. The wart is still there, but I think its healing.

I have been running with purpose. For the past few months, my running has been lacking discipline, passion, and purpose. I came to realize that I was running just to check it off my to do list. I didn't really realize this on my own, this little gem of a revelation came from P. One day I was complaining about running to P, and he simply looked at me and said "You are only running to check it off your list. You don't really care about what you are doing." BOOM. There are so many times, that I get so lost in my own head, and when I talk about them to P, he tells me directly what I need to hear, whether I want to hear it or not. He is a straight shooter, and will tell me the truth, even at the risk of hurting my feelings. I  need that. A lot.

The Plan. I want to run a 24 minute 5K. My plan is to rebuild from the ground up. I am going to spend the summer doing more speed work and fewer junk miles. Every run, from speed work to recovery will have a purpose. The funny thing is, this is all the stuff I know, and I have done before, but I just was not putting it into practice. I got comfortable running at a slow pace, stopping whenever I felt like it, and I was comfortable not pushing myself.

Speaking of purpose, I have also been doing some speed miles. I mapped out a route around my neighborhood that is exactly one mile. Oddly enough, I don't do well when I don't have a specific route in mind. I actually ran my fastest marathon 2 year ago. At the time, the street in front of our apartment was exactly a mile, stop sign to stop sign. I did every single run on that sidewalk, even my long 20 milers. I found that I am motivated when I can see the end point, and I can tell myself I only need to run on the exact spot X amount of times again until I am done. Yea, I am nuts, I know.

I have a benchmark. A few weeks ago, I ran a 5K in 26 minutes. Not my fastest 5K ever, but that is where I am physically right now. I know I can beat that. On Monday afternoon, I ran 3 miles in 96 degree heat in 26 minutes.

I have been running in the 7:00's. I am super comfortable running between 8:15-8:30. When I start running faster, I panic, and force myself to slow down. I get scared and worried that I am going to fail.

A little evidence for you. That's 7:16. So what
if I only ran one mile, and wanted to pass out
afterwards. I still ran in the 7:00's. 

I am ready. I am ready to train, and train hard. I am ready to run again. Some days, I have even run twice, just for fun.

It feels good to be back. It's like reuniting with an old friend.

Help me stay inspired; How do you get out of a running rut? What keeps you inspired when you run? How do you stay motivated to train hard?

Holistic Healing

Remember my whore foot?

Yes, I know, its an attractive name for something so unattractive.

Basically, I have a huge wart on the ball of my right foot and it hurts like heck, all the time. Every time I step on my my right foot, it sent pain shooting through my foot.

I have had it cut out twice, but it keeps coming back.

Around 2 weeks ago, I called my friend who is  holistic, seeking help because what I had done in the past was not working. She suggesting using castor oil packs on my foot. I was a little skeptical at first, and even told her I did not believe her voodoo would work,but I would give it a try.

Dare I say, its working?

On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain has dropped from a 7, down to around a 3. It is crazy that this oil that cost 4.00 at Whole Foods is pulling this virus out of my foot. I spent hundreds of dollars at the doctor, and weeks on crutches each time I had it cut out. It took time, costs me and my insurance company money, and put me in a ton of pain. But for a few bucks, my foot is feeling better than it has in months.

I have been doing some research and I am more and more amazed by what castor oil can do. This stuff is awesome!!!

It can be used as an antiviral (which is how I am using it), relieves arthritis symptoms, can be used as antibacterial, and used to fight tumors, among many other things.

I can see each day how it is pulling the virus out of my body, and the pain continues to subside. Prior to using castor oil, I had been using Compound W, and it was tearing up the skin on my foot. The castor oil has also been healing the skin that surrounds the wart.

Overall, I am starting to find more uses for this oil, and I am starting to become more and more curious about holistic healing.

Needing to Rebuild

It is time to rebuild.
My running has been, terrible. I don't remember the last time I had a great run---at this point, I would even take a good run.

I seriously don't even remember the last time that I came home from a run and thought--those miles felt good, they flew by. My weekly mileage has been decent--not great. I am averaging between 20-25 miles a week.
I was really frustrated with myself this weekend on my runs, so I made a decision that I would start from scratch. Running is so mental, and I often think that it it more mental for me than many others.

Growing up playing soccer, I always had to run. Every single time I messed up, or a teammate messed up, our punishment was running. In college, I played at a Division 1 school, and it was the same story just at a higher level. Every time someone was a minute late to practice or a team event, it was a 50 yard sprint for each minute. Don't make me go back to the time when a freshman was 30 minutes late to team dinner because she went to her dorm to shower. The next day after practice we got to run  30 50 yards sprints.

Sometimes, the fact that I have run multiple marathons amazes me. Again, so much about running is mental, and right now, I am losing that mental battle.

Sure, I have had some physical setbacks that have hurt my running. Namely, the gigantic planters wart that has grown on the ball of my foot. I have had it cut out twice, because it keeps coming back. I had it removed in December, and its already back, and it is o so painful. (Please don't be intimated by my sexy talk of warts.) My visits to the podiatrist have gone something like this:

Me: Why do these keep coming back?

Dr: I don't know

Me: What can we do to keep them from coming back?

Dr: Cut it out

Me: How long will it take to heal?

Dr: About a week.

Me: Ok lets do it.

During the cutting process (Again, with all the sexiness) each doctor has felt obligated to talk inform me that if I had been more careful sexually, I might not have contracted this virus that causes warts.

Me: Um, doc, I have had these since I was a small child

Doc: O, well some people are just born with the virus that causes this.

After each procedure, it took nearly 3 weeks not 1 to heal, and almost always hurts.

And now, its back again, and flippin huge. And it hurts with every single step. I have used that pain as an excuse to stop running and walk for a bit.

This morning, I ran 3 miles. I told myself I could go as slow as I wanted, but I was not going to stop. I ran 3 miles in 28:00 minutes, and that was the very best I could do. A few months ago I was running the sames distance in about 24:00 minutes with no problem. I ran without music, which is something I never do, and I hated hearing myself breath and struggle, but I really needed to tune into my body.

Yes, I had a ton of excuses for running that slowly. My foot hurt, it was already 80 degrees, the humidity was really high, the wind was blowing really hard. But I kept going, even when my legs felt like lead. I kept running, kept struggling, and came home a sweaty mess.

This week is going to be all about the short distances for me. Its going to be about reconnecting with my body. Listening to my body, and defeating that little whisper of doubt telling me I can't do it, I can't go faster, I can't go farther.

Its time to put the doubt monster to bed.

Crutching Along

I am on crutches. There they are. Sitting up against the window in the office. My loyal dog has not left my side. Well, he walks about 5 steps away to gaze out the window, but the sweet dog has been doing his best to take care of me.

A few years ago while training for my second marathon, I developed a planters wart on the ball of my foot. I had to lanced off. It hurt like heck and I was on crutches for about 2 weeks the first time.

Well, the thing came back in the exact same spot on my foot. These past 2 months, running has been really painful because of this thing. I went to the doctor, he lanced it again, and I am on crutches, again.
It really blows, but I know it will make my running less painful.

The only good thing about being on crutches......people have been really nice to me!

Goal time

Now that marathon season is over, I am finding that I need a new goal. These past few months without a goal I have found myself floundering when it comes to my running. My runs have been slower, shorter, and a bunch of junk miles. Nothing great, nothing to hard, and rarely pushing myself. Times need to change my friends.

One of my goals for this year is to PR in a 5K. I PR'ed in the half marathon distance earlier this year, and now I am ready to go for my speed goal. My goal into run a 5K later this summer in 23:00 or under. That will put me a little over a 7:30 mile, but I know that if I work hard I can do it. To be honest, this distance really scares me. I can run for miles at a nice and slow clip, and I am fine. I can do sprints all day long. As long as I can see the finish line and get a breather for a few seconds, I am good. This 5K distance is fun, but I am really wanting to put pressure on myself to PR. If I am being honest, I really want to finish in 21:00 minutes, but I am not sure if I can get to that pace this summer. But, I am going to bust my hump and try.

I am going to use Hal Higdon's advanced 5k training plan. That means lots of speed work, and lots of pain. It has one long run a week, but only one. This plan kind of scares me because I am worried about losing my fitness that comes with high mileage. I know it will be a major pain in the rump to get it back, but I know that establishing a faster base, it will benefit me in the long run to get a sub 4 hour marathon. Aww gripes, yes I just declared that there will be another marathon either late this year or early next year.

 

What fitness goals are you working to right now?

 

I Will

I will give less energy to dreading. I will trust my training. I will do my best to not be afraid.

                       Kristen Armstrong.

I am currently reading the book Mile Markers by Kristen Armstrong. This is one of the best books I have read in years. The book speaks to me on so many levels. It speaks to me about the physicality of running, the spirituality of running, the emotion of running, and the growth that comes from being a runner. It speaks to me about life, friendship, womanhood, family, and faith.

She puts into words exactly how I feel about certain situations and experiences. She is raw, vulnerable and sappy, but who said those had to be bad things?

I read the quote above and it really stuck me. One of my weaknesses is fear. I feel like I go through life trying to dodge fear, or manage situations so that I won't have to take that leap of faith into the unknown. So I won't have to fear falling down and having to get back up, or worse, falling down and never getting back up.

Earlier this week I tried to make a major rash decision based upon fear. I kept telling P I had a bad feeling and I knew things were going to be bad, and terrible, and I gave into the dread, and allowed myself to believe that I didn't have the strength, determination, or will to take this risk. So often I fear the unknown, I fear new situations and new people. When I give into fear, I lose faith in myself, and faith that the Lord will be right there with me. 

Today, I will keep reminding myself, to not be afraid. 

The Truth of the Matter

Thank you Pintrest for putting my sneaking suspicion into pictures and words.

13.1 and Done, again.

I ran another half this weekend, and to put it kindly, it stunk.
I knew from mile 2 that it was going to be rough. It was a battle the whole way. The course was much flatter and faster than last week's half, so I should have PR'ed. I should have run faster, and it should have been easier than last week. But it wasn't.
I ended up running 1:57, again. I ran the exact same time as I did last week. To say that I was frustrated would be an understatement. This simply reconfirmed what I have known all along, running is 20% physical, and 80% mental. I did not have the mental game, at all. At no point in the race did I zone out, or feel good. I felt like garbage. But, I finished it.
The one thing that was positive both this weekend and last, was my husband.
P is so supportive of everything that I do. He is perfectly understanding when I ask if we can afford to pay yet another race fee. Yes, he says its ok to pay hundreds of dollars in order to run on a public street that every other day I could run that same path for free.
Yesterday, he rode his bike over 26 miles in order to ride the path and meet me at about 8 different times and take pictures, cheer me on, and offer me water. He was pretty much awesome.
In summary, the race stunk, P ruled, end of story.

Tapering

I have started my taper this week. My mileage has dropped off quite a bit, and to be perfectly honest, it freaks me out. I have gotten so used to higher mileage that doing so few miles is actually really weird. I didn't even run today, and I miss it. In fact, I have not even worked out today. I have foam rolled, stretched, and rested. My legs feel more fresh than they have in weeks, and I am actually aching to move.
I am running a 1/2 this weekend, and I think I am beyond ready physically. The part that is going to be the hardest is the mental battle, which is something I have always dealt with. I grew up running track and cross country, and even won 3rd place in state one year, but I quit doing track because I could not handle the nerves that came at the starting line. Every single time that I toe the line in a race, no matter if it is a marathon or a 5K, that same feeling creeps back in, and the doubt monster creeps in. I have a lot of goals for this race, but the number one goal is to run and gain confidence. I have done this distance a hundred times, and I know I could reach my time goal on a training run, but I need to prove to myself that I can do it during a race.
I am aiming for a sub 2 hour race. That's actually a lie. I really want to run this race in 1:50 or less. As I said before, I know that I am physically capable, but now I just need to whip my mind into shape.

Annoyed

I am an idiot. Seriously.
Because of my idiocy, I am now suffering from some IT band issues in my right knee. It is all my fault because I don't stretch. Ever.
I hate stretching, and I always have. Tonight, I tried to go running and my knee hurt so bad. So, now I am sidelined for a few days. AHHHHHHHH.
I am so annoyed with myself. I have stretched, iced, and foam rolled tonight.
I expect a full recovery soon.
Lets hope.

A Restorative Run

Last week, I was off as far as my running was concerned. I ran four times last week, and each time, each run felt like a battle. They were hard, uninspired, unimpressive, and frustrating. Whenever I have a few bad runs in a row, I always start to question my running and doubt myself, which continued to lead to more and more bad runs.
I downloaded new music, and that didn't help. I ran outside and it was terrible. I ran on the treadmill and hated every second of it. I tried a speed work out, and felt terrible the whole time. I went to a few spinning classes and they were great, but my running suffered and I hated it. Every time I started to feel tired, to feel pain, or even started breathing hard, I would just quit. I stopped pushing myself and gave into the doubt and listened to that doubtful voice in my head that said I would never be able to do it.
On Saturday, I decided to go out and just run. I had no pace goal. I left my Garmin at home, and I decided to just run. I wanted to run to feel good, I wanted to run to lose myself in my thoughts. I wanted to run to not think about running. I wanted to enjoy myself and let go of the doubt monster. And I did. I ran some hills, some pretty hard hills, and they hurt, but I did it. There were points where I was tired and wanted to quit, but I powered through and did it. It is funny how one good run could give me my confidence back. I needed that run on Saturday. It helped me gain my confidence back and brought back my swagger.
One thing I realized was that I ran two marathons without the help of my Garmin watch, and I did just fine. While I like running with the watch, when I wear it, I look at it obsessively and worry about pace and negative splits. I think I need to go out without the watch some days and just run for the pleasure of it.

To Fool or Not To Fool

I have been debating for last few weeks about doing another full marathon this year or just doing a half. Just a half, it makes it sound so simple.

One day I decided I want to do a full, the next day I change my mind. I think about it all the time. I ran the full in San Antonio for the past 2 years, and it is a great race, but I just don't know if my heart is into doing a full this year. I have been doing more smaller races this year, quite a few 5K's and I have gotten faster with each race, and I go out wanting to p.r. every time. I have also been incorporating a speed workout into my routine every week, something that I always blew off in my past marathon training. As a result of my speed work, I have increased my speed, and I have found myself running about 45 seconds faster per mile comfortably. (That is based on the marathon pace of course)

Overall, I am pleased with the progress I have made. I want to do more than 5K's but less than a full marathon. I think I have set my mind on a couple of 1/2 marathons. I think this will allow me to do a big race, but continue to work on speed.

I still struggle with actually thinking of myself as a runner because I don't run sub 16 marathons a year at a sub 4 hour pace. I wish I could, but I am not there.

I think the 1/2 is where I want to be this year, and I really want to push myself. Plus, I am excited about doing some different races that I have not done before. Tentatively, I am thinking about doing the Austin half and the Cowtown half, and maybe one more this racing season.

What do you guys think? Are you doing any races?

A Naked Outing

I waited patiently all day for it to get dark. I kept looking at the windows all evening. At 7:40 I turned to P ans said "It's dark."
I even opened the door to show him--but nope--the sun was just setting, and it was not dark enough for him.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity- it was dark, pitch black outside.
I looked at P and said "let's go."
He sighed, got off the couch and started getting ready to go.
As he was getting ready, he looked at me and said--"Why are we doing this again?"
I responded with "You promised to come with me."
He replied with "I need to start asking more questions."
In the dark of night we drove about 1/4 of a mile (not the location I would have chosen, but I went with it.) We scaled the 7 foot fence and found ourselves alone on an empty golf course in the dark.
It was time for P to get naked-as I was already going tribal myself.
Standing under a tree in the dark, P did it! He took of his sandles and joined me.
We went running without shoes--but with our clothes. We ran for about 20 minutes barefoot on the golf course, then we did a couple of build up sprints.
We finished about 9, scaled the 7 foot fence again and went home.

I finished Born to Run, and it inpsired me to give naked running (running barefoot) a try.
The book was so great. I could not put it down. I have already reread a few of the sections again, because it was so dense with information.
I will do a full book review on the blog, but if you have not read it, go out and READ it now!

Runners Envy

Running the last few months has been really hard. I have gone out on runs, but the entire time it was a mental battle, I simply was not into it. I would run because I needed exercise, but mentally I was counting down the seconds until I could stop.
For some reason, I have had no desire to run since the last marathon I did back in November. Running had lost its place for me, and I was not sure what to make of that. I have always run, and I have always enjoyed it for the most part. It was perplexing to me for a long time.
However, something changed in me last week. I have had a lot to do in the afternoons and I knew that there were some days I was not going to get a chance to work out. As I was driving home from work the other afternoon I saw some people out running, and I became really envious. I was jealous that they were out running and I was not! It stirred something in me to go out and run. So I did. I didn't have much time before dark (and living by myself, I try not to go out past dark) so I ran a quick 2 miles and it felt awesome.
Yesterday I got up early and ran for an hour, and I enjoyed every second of it!!
It is like rediscovering an old friend that I have been missing for a really long time.

The perfect pair

My main man these days while my husband is out of town. He is awesome! He is my perfect dog. He plays, he sleeps in my bed, and keeps me company when no one is around.

The best thing about him--he loves to run!!

He is the perfect running partner for me.

He never gets tired.

He is faster than me.

He never makes me feel bad about skipping a run(as if he could???).

He is always happy to run.

He understands when I need to run more than once a day.

He is just happy to be on the leash.Pretty much- he is the perfect running partner for me!

Number 2

Marathon number 2, done.
I never thought I would do a marathon, much less 2. Now, a full week later, it feels like I ran a year ago. My first marathon, I clocked 4:52. Last week I ran in 4:24.
I made a major improvement, and I am proud of my time, but, I felt like I could have done even better. I honestly felt like I could have done it in under 4 hours.
I have to admit when I crossed the finish line and saw my time I was somewhat dissapointed. I know that I have no reason to feel bad about my time, at all, but somehow, I don't feel proud of it either. I don't know if it is just my competitive side coming out, or if I am truly disappointed. I don't know.
Will I do another one? Perhaps. I have not run for a week, and it feels good to rest. I have walked a ton, and lifted weights, but I have not run yet. Maybe today I will go out for a run.