Saturday, January 2, 2010

It is frustrating

We are home from vacay!!! It was an absolutely magical trip. I am still processing the trip right now, and will post some pictures and and my thoughts once I have fully unwound. My premature thoughts are that Maine is a beautiful place that encompasses so much of the charm that New England is known for. I met some great people, who were kind, funny, and giving, yet slightly haggard due to living in such harsh weather conditions.

One night on the trip we were all sitting around talking, and someone said something negative about their parents. A few days later, this same person made a wise crack about his brother, who happened to be sitting at the table. I did not say anything, but I was heart broken inside for the person who said it, and for the family members.

My mother-in-law said it best, "Family is a good hard thing." That is so true. Families don't come with a how to guide. We all make mistakes. We all mess up. And yes, some parents are really terrible, but for the most part, they really do try. We all have baggage and we all have hurts from our past but to openly criticize your family in front of others really bugs me.

I don't know if I am just really sensitive right now because of the time of year it, but it really irked me. I love getting to go home and visit my family. And, no matter how long I am there, it never seems like enough time. Whenever I leave, I feel sad because I want to spend more time with these amazing people. People that have loved me for who I am my entire life. People that have seen me at my worst and still love me, even when it is hard.

P and I made an agreement before we got married to never criticize each other in public. Never. Not once. Ever. Yes we fight, yes we have issues, and those things need to be dealt with in private, at home, between the 2 of us. We don't air our problems out in public, and we don't bash each other to friends. We have enough respect for each other to keep our mouths shut until we are able to work it out. I think so much of it boils down to respect. Respect for the people in your life. Respect for what they have gone through. You might not agree with how they live, or what they do, but you can love them. You can be kind.

Thanks for letting me vent.


Anonymous said...

yes, of course! We have been tossing that respect word around a lot lately here. And, I agree, there is nothing worse than bad mouthing others especially family.

A Friend Across the Miles said...

I'm so blessed - the majority of my family all lives within 10 miles of each other. We are each other's friends, Saturday night dates, social lives. I love it. But I think that our closeness lends itself to not appreciating the "people" that we are, sometimes. Not respecting each other occasionally. Not bearing in mind each other's feelings. Sometimes distance and the missing of our loved ones is a good thing. We appreciate them more. Thanks for the reminder to BE NICE.

Happy New Year to you, my friend!