Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Where Credit is Due

Sometimes it is so easy to overlook the things that people closest to us do. We see the flaws, or the things we want them to change or do better, do more, do less, or do differently. Yesterday, P and I were discussing Veganism with a friend, and how we are transitioning our lives to a different, healthier lifestyle. As we were talking, I basically threw P under the bus and told our friend how much less meat I eat now, and how I really am working to do more, and that P is coming around to it much more slowly. As we continued to chat and I shared some tips, ideas, and recipes, P joined back in the conversation and commented how different he feels now that he is of dairy. I basically did a double take.

It is true, P is off dairy, and I have not asked him about it nor have I given him much credit for it at all. Over a month ago I was making my grocery list, and I asked P if he needed more milk, and he responded no. I asked again the next week, and P said no again. I think I questioned him a few times, but I didn't think much of it. Rather than boast about it and make a huge deal, P just quietly began to remove dairy from his diet. He didn't make a scene, he didn't tell me, preach at me, or try to convince me to do it, he just did it. That's the difference between P and I. I want to talk about it, convince others that my way is correct, and get credit for doing it. Where I can be loud, boisterous, and judgy, P is quiet, humble, and wants to take action and is not concerned with getting the credit.

As I have thought about this past few days, I have come to realize, it is more than just being off dairy that P does with looking for credit, he does a lot, and I never thank him nor acknowledge it. On the weekends, I do the laundry and deep clean the house. If P is gone, or taking a nap, I make sure to tell him how much I did because he needs to know ho much I do around here, and isn't he grateful for me. I am really good about getting the house cleaned on the weekends. What I am not so great about is keeping it clean during the week. Every day I carry no less than 4 bags with me. A purse, work bag, lunch, and my workout bag. When I get home in the evenings, I dump the bags right in the middle of the floor, and am content to leave them there until the next morning. P comes behind me and picks up my junk and puts it away. Everyday this happens, and never once have I thanked him. Just thinking about it now gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach, realizing how often I fail to say thank you.

That's just how he is, and WHO he is. He spends most of his days looking for opportunities to serve other people and never seeks recognition for the things he does. The longer we are married, the more I realize that I truly married up. He is out of my league and I have no idea what I did to deserve getting such a good husband.

What are some things your loved ones do that you never give them credit for?


~Carla~ said...

You have been blessed with a good man! :) My hubby is pretty great, he goes along with all my little whims, (not spending, etc..) and seems to always ave me on his heart as he brings me little "gifts" all the time! Whether it's a GF/allergy free treat, a new magazine, or whatever.. It's nice! :)

Denise said...

sometimes I am in awe that my husband gets up everyday to go to work - like everyday. I have been so blessed to stay part-time for now. His work is also 1 hr. away. And, on top of that he drives the carpool van.

P is awesome!

Brooke said...

shall we sing "what a man" by salt 'n peppa? or was it TLC?

you and i are similar - if i do something good i want everyone to know about it!!

Counting all my stars and saving it said...

P is exactly like Poppa Star. I feel bad for the man sometimes, because I'm always picking at the thing he "didn't" do rather then praise him on the things he does (which is a lot).

Mutant Supermodel said...

I used to be more like you in my old relationships. Recently though I read an article about generosity in relationships-- the more generous the people in the relationship are with each other, the higher rate of success. For me, part of that was being more generous with my gratitude as well as being more generous with my actions without expecting acknowledgement. So I really try and say thank you constantly for all the mundane things and I try and do it spontaneously.